Friday, May 9, 2008

Tim Gunn's Guide To Style

Tim Gunn's Guide to Style will be back for season two missing one element: Veronica Webb. I'm sure Veronica is a nice person and all, but I doubt she'll be seriously missed by the viewers. Her dress sense was pretty frightening, and her face always looked suspiciously matte, as if it were a papier maché mask.

Bravo has just announced the hiring of Gretta Monahan as Tim's new "Fashion Accomplice." Yeah, I never heard of her either.

Bravo's search was long and arduous (I was going to say "hard" but I know how some of you think) and several other choices were contemplated before making the decision. Here are some of the contenders, with Bravo's official reasons for not hiring them:

"Gisele Bundchen is the highest paid model in the world. Plus she's dating Tom Brady. We are embarrassed to report that Ms. Bundchen laughed at us when we offered her the job."

"While Ms Kate Moss had great potential, her other 'interests' are not condoned by the NBC family of television networks."

"Contrary to her belief, Janice Dickinson wasn't really ever considered for the position."

"Ms. Campbell was banned from Bravo after threatening Padma Lakshmi while brandishing a leg of proscuitto and a bottle of SoBe during filming of a recent episode of Top Chef. Ms Lakshmi has generously decided not to press charges at this time."

Ms. Hilton appeared dazed at her audition, repeatedly mumbling "That's hot" while looking at her own reflection in the camera lens."

"While Ms. Winehouse has an iconic style of her own, it was suggested that the subjects of our make-overs would not want her hands rummaging through their underwear drawers."


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