Friday, August 15, 2008

Shear Genius - Almost Done!

We're coming down to the wire on Shear Genius - only five stylists remain as of the start of episode eight, and only three can go to the finale. Frankly, I don't want to see any of them leave, but then I'm not in charge here. (If I was, you-know-who would have been cut many episodes ago.)

The stylists head to the salon to meet Jaclyn and the guest judge for the Short Cut challenge, Dean Banowetz, head stylist for American Idol. So basically he was pretty much solely responsible for getting Sanjaya through so many rounds of competition with his ever-changing hairdos. Nobody liked the way he sang, but they were fascinated by his hair.

Jaclyn then tells the stylists that they will have only 30 minutes to work on their new clients - who have already chosen them. The salon doors open and in rushes a small herd of tiny tots - six-year-olds who are about to embark on their first day of first grade and need a kid-friendly look to help them make a good impression.

The girls rush, unafraid, into the legs of their chosen stylists, eager to get started.

Daniel's girl tells him she wants to look just like Jaclyn. He's delighted at the chance to improve on his work from the Charlie's Angels challenge.

Charlie's little darling wants to grow up to be Paris Hilton. Blonde, idle, rich, and stupid.

Paulo and his gal got along very well. You could say she had him wrapped around her little finger.


Seriously, they were very cute together. Ok, maybe the kid was cute.

When 30 minutes are up, Banowetz checks out the end results. He apparently is the personal stylist for 75 nieces and nephews. I got two words for that family: birth control.

One of Banowetz' least-favorite styles was Dee's, because she did a retard job of the bangs. The kid looked a bit like I did after my arthritic mother cut my bangs. Only I was cuter. You don't believe that? Well check this out. See - damn cute. And Paulo didn't fare well either. But at least he had fun, right?

Banowetz' favorite styles were the double ponytail on Charlie's Paris Hilton wannabe, and Daniel's version of a miniature Jaclyn Smith. Jaclyn was beaming the whole time, clearly flattered that a six year old wanted to look like her. Jaclyn won out over Paris, as she should. Congrats Daniel!

Please, no. Why would you do such a horrible thing to a client? A female client yet? I didn't realize you had such a terrible mean streak.

Back at the house, the stylists get liquored up and do something fun for a change. Since Nekisa's not around anymore for Charlie to kick around, it's decided that it's time all of the dearly departed stylists get ridiculed.

Daniel plays emcee for the show.

Somehow Oshun, the first eliminated, permanently burned his image and personality on everyone's brain. He'll go to hell for that. Dee does a decent impression of the former resident poet, but did his shirt gap that noticeably? Or has Dee picked up some weight during the run?

Paulo strutted out as straight straight very straight (gay gay gay) Matthew, and Nicole did her version of crazy-eyed Meredith. Charlie once again picked on Nekisa while in drag from the waist down. I'm not sure what he was doing from the waist up. You know, although Charlie's got great legs, Nekisa *is* prettier. Sorta.

The next day, a rather George Hamilton-esque version of Rene had an announcement for the probably hung-over stylists. They would have to updates cliens currenstyle to something they be proud of.

In walked a member of each stylist's family. Synchronized hugging and squealing ensued.

It seemed too good to be true that the stylists would get to work on their own mother, sister, or cousin. So they couldn't and didn't. As the winner of the Short Cut challenge, Daniel got to match up relatives and stylists. He took Nicole's pretty mom for himself, paired Charlie with Daniel's lookalike mom, Paulo's cousin with Dee, Dee's mom with Nicole, and Paulo with Charlie's sister.

As he walked around, doing his mentoring schtick and checking out his new tan, Rene was "wrory" about the color Nicole chose for Dee's mom, not to mention the short shortness of the cut. Charlie went over to his sister to warn her that Paulo does "crazy hair," and Daniel used three cans of hairspray on Nicole's mom to make her hair extra Dallas-y.

Later, at the hair show, we meet another guest judge in the form of David Babaii (pronounced, prophetically, "Buh-bye.")

Regarding the reddish color that Dee put into Paulo's cousin's hair, Kim Vo asks, "has Nekisa left the building?" He thought their hair looked similar. Uh, Kim, Nekisa's hair was brown, with reddish gold highlights, not black with fuchsia highlights. All that bleach is affecting your eyesight, huh?

Kim also thought Charlie gave Daniel's mom "earmuffs" and there was some chatter that made it sound like the judges did not like his work in this challenge.

Babaii said that Paulo's cut reminded him of a palm tree. Huh? :::crickets::::

Dee, Charlie, and Daniel were chosen as the top three, and despite the murmuring over earmuffs, Charlie was named the winner. And Paulo was sent home for his work on Charlie's sister. It's hard to tell which way the judges are going to go - I applaud Nicole's risk with the extreme short hair and darker color for Dee's mother, but I thought it was a bit severe for a woman of her age. Sorry Paulo. I'm very sad to see you go. :(

Paulo (and everyone else) has an opportunity to win $10,000 as the Fan Favorite. Click here to vote. You can vote 20 times per week; voting ends August 21st at midnight. By casting your vote you have an opportunity to win a cut and style by the winner of Shear Genius season two. Vote now and vote often!

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