Project Runway All Stars Season Five Episode Ten, or, Everybody Smoked Crack This Week

I'm not feeling this week's episode. It annoyed me, and I'm tired (it's been a stressful week). Despite the presence of two of my favorite PR designers, Dom and Kini, I am finding this season of PRAS to be altogether lackluster and repetitive. While Dom has been cranking out great stuff every week, she's barely being recognized. Kini's done some good stuff, but he's too busy rolling his eyes at Sam to reach his true potential. And I'm starting to feel that this season is being manipulated so that Sam gets the win at the end. Not that he's a bad designer, not by a long shot. I just don't think he's shown anything this season that's good enough for a $100,000 grand prize. I hope I'm wrong, because I don't want to end this season angry, as I was at the end of PR Season 8, when Gretchen won. Gretchen. Still makes me grind my teeth when I think about it.

On with the whining.

This week, the designers are back at their normal beginning-of-the-show meeting spot - the runway. Alyssa comes in wearing black pants and a red jacket and she looks...amazing. And in a good way.

I'm so busy being shocked at Alyssa's transformation that I almost miss the name and organization of her special guest presenter, Yvonne Niami. Niami is a philanthropist, which means she gives money away to good causes. She is so philanthropic, in fact, she founded a company called n:philanthropy (which I can't help but want to call "En Colon Philanthropy" because punctuation + the lack of capital letters is pretentious) to remind everyone about her super-philanthropic-ness. With its creative director, Alexandre Caugant, the company produces "apparel with a purpose/fashion with a mission." (It also appears to be "athleisure" wear.) Ten percent of the net proceeds of En Colon Philanthropie (spelling change in honor of the French dude) go to pediatric cancer research and animal welfare. Ten whole percent. I've never found 10% to be an incentive to buy anything, sales included. It's a mere one out of every ten dollars, and a dollar doesn't go all that far, particularly when it comes to medicine. I'd rather give money directly to an organization; you can keep the $128 shrunken sweatshirts and $70 distressed "BFF t-shirts." "But," you sputter, "$12.80 cents of that sweatshirt goes to Children's Hospital Los Angeles!" Nope. That would be 10% of gross earnings. This is net, which means after expenses and taxes and all the other expenditures that come with running a business. We have no idea how much really goes to help others without seeing their financial paperwork. (Stuff to keep in mind before you donate to any charity: how much do the people who need it really get? If not a lot, then find someplace else to give.)

So the challenge this week is to make something that fits a lot of random adjectives: modern, sophisticated, and badass. The designers need to create something fashion forward for summer, to be worn by a "rebel with a cause." Everyone pretends to be excited, but you know they're all just exhausted by this point. I know I am. (Being marginally clever is hard work.) And the winner of the challenge gets to design a look for En Colon Philanthropie's summer line. All the profits from this look go to Children's Hospital LA, so at least that's something (in other words, you can feel good about buying the winner's collaboration).

The designers head off to sketch and shop at Mood, where the budget is $250. Ken and Asha both say that the sophisticated badass woman is just the person for each of their aesthetics. Josephine Baker is Asha's ideal "rebel with a cause," so why does she choose to work with the abstract patterned fabric that Peytie used in the last two episodes of Project Runway Junior? It doesn't exactly scream "talented and exotic dancer who made her mark in France because her home country of the US didn't get her, never depended on a man for financial support, did undercover work for the French during WW II and was a sub-lieutenant in the Women's Auxiliary Air Force,  adopted 12 children of different ethnicities (eat your heart out, Angelina Jolie), and received a 21-gun salute at her Paris funeral before being buried in Morocco." But whatever. Details.

Kini buys some crazy-ass acid yellow and silver lamé/damask fabric (we'll call it "lameassk"). Fabric choices have certainly been out there this season.


Dom chooses various metallic fabrics and lamé, because, you know, it needs to be a summer look. "Summer" is the only thing that Sam heard, so he buys seersucker.

Back at the workroom, Sam tells us he's making--surprise!--a jumpsuit. I know when it's summer and I'm sweaty and gross, I definitely want to struggle with taking off a jumpsuit when I have to pee. Actually, that's true any time of year. Jumpsuits, and their sassy cousin, the romper, might look cool, but they are not practical unless you have a catheter, in which case they need to have wide legs. And, to me, seersucker screams "pretentious yuppie in a straw hat," or maybe "railroad worker." Sam admits that it's easy to make black look badass, but that one would need to "design the hell" out of pretentious yuppie/railroad worker fabric to achieve the same result. So why make the challenge even more challenging?

In the sewing room, Sam blurts out "Mommy wants me to wear one of her old suits; I'll show her." We're going to assume that he's speaking in the voice of the woman he's designing for, some child (or pretentious yuppie) that still calls her mother "Mommy" and has some sewing skills. As if "Mommy" even had a seersucker suit. Dom is in the room with him at the time and tells us the he must design for 15-year-olds.

 Somebody has to design for 15-year-olds, I suppose.

Zanna comes in for her weekly chat, and brings Yvonne Niami with her. Niami is wearing an En Colon Philanthropie pleather dress with long fringes. Trashbag Chic. They start with Emily's "rework of a power suit," and suggest that she might be doing too many things, what with a hand-painted vest, voluminous print pants, etc. Emily decides to crop her pants to keep things more summery. Asha's look, which not only involves Peytie's fabric but also lots of semi bondage-esque straps, seems to read fall-winter (but it doesn't, really, they just need something mean to say). Dom's silver and black dress is also not particularly summery, and maybe a bit too sophisticated, without that "Dom edge."

Zanna calls Kini's crazy yellow genie pants with sorta matching yellow tweed jacket a "disco banana" (pronounced buh-nohh-nohh) and says it needs to look more "sophisticated call girl." Or maybe she said sophisticated cool girl.

Sam's jumpsuit look is "safe" and "Hampton's," which I suppose they meant as an insult, but considering that people who go to the Hampton's will probably be the ones buying this stuff, it's actually not.

Sam doesn't want to send "safe" and "boring" down the runway, so he decides to take his jumpsuit apart with two hours left in the day and start over. Doesn't he do this every other week? He's switching to a spin on a "rock and roll tuxedo." Unfortunately, he's still using seersucker, a fabric that Kini associates with babies. Pretentious yuppie babies that work on the railroad.

After the "disco banana" comment, Kini decides to dip dye his yellow jacket with black. I couldn't help but think, as he slipped on a black rubber glove, of OJ Simpson. And nobody wants to think of OJ Simpson.

And the black dye? Not an improvement. In fact, it might make things even worse. Sam says Kini's look is "more drag queen than badass," and that the "weird iguana genie pants" makes his model's ass look "3 feet wide." But Sam is using seersucker. SEER-SUCK-ER. So he shouldn't really talk.

Ken, who thinks his pants are "faboluss," is having a problem with the top. He's using an orange-y fabric not all that different in hue from the neoprene he was stuck with in that awkward fabric-switching challenge a few weeks ago, but he just can't make it do what he wants. Not that he knows what he wants. He thinks it looks cheap and ugly, and last time he did ugly, he went home. Dun dun DUN!

On to the BJs Wholesale Warehouse Hair and Makeup Studios, where we hear the show's resident makeup guru, Scott Patric, say the strange but somehow magical words "gelato swirl illuminator in ballerina." What can it mean?

After makeup and still without a proper top, Ken grabs some of the white fabric he used for the pants and whips up a halter in the five minutes they have before heading out to the runway. It's pretty, but it's not anything we haven't already seen. In the 1970s.

Speaking of 1970s, Dom's cranked out something that would make Bob Mackie and Cher proud. So much lamé and silver. So over-embellished. In fact, it reminds me of the "fortune teller" costume that I had for my Cher doll in the 70s (see below).

On to the runway!

After doing so well in her first appearance, Alyssa has slipped from "looking great" to full on crazy. She looks dumpy and neckless, even a little bit...fat. The wide expanse of black fabric across her ample bosom is simply unflattering. While the getup she's wearing might be fine on a 6'1" model with a long bony neck, on someone 5'2", it looks costume-y. Like a Princess Leia reject.

She introduces this week's guest judges, actress and star of Cooking Channel's Extra Virgin, Debi Mazar, and regular PR judge, fashion designer, and brooch-wearer, Zac Posen.

The runway show is unspectacular. And short, as there are only six designers left.

Emily's look is terrific. Not sure that culottes are "badass" but the overall look works with all of the adjectives assigned at the beginning of the challenge. Everybody loves it, but Isaac doesn't get parts of it. When they were back in the workroom, Ken wondered, admiringly, how the various shapes in Emily's designs come to her head. Some people are just unconventional thinkers, which may or may not make them better artists.

Kini wisely decides to leave the ugly yellow and black jacket in the workroom. His pants are quite enough, thank you.  He gets mixed reactions, from a "kooky 50s throwback" to "summery, edgy, and ballsy." Georgina is perplexed. Somehow he's on the top.

Sam's jumpsuit is just...odd. Zac doesn't love it, and Alyssa doesn't equate seersucker with "badass" (of course not) but the other three judges seem pleased. Even though there's something very "Baby Bjorn" to it, only missing the baby. The pants fit very well, but I have to hope there's a side zipper going on somewhere, otherwise how does this thing come on and off? And there's definitely no place to hide a catheter.

Bob Mackie's Dom's look isn't summery at all, and the slit is too high. It is badass, and definitely Dom, what with all the embroidery and various fabrics and quilting. Had the challenge been anything else (create a modern interpretation of a baked potato; create something for a Kardashian to wear to the movies; create something for Cher! The Musical), it might have won. As it was, Dom ended up on the bottom.

Ken's "faboluss" pants were neither badass nor fashion forward. Isaac thought they were too long, which they are. Ken got mouthy and said that his model walked just fine, but that's not the point. They are too long. If the top of the cuff is dragging on the ground, they Are. Too. Long.

Asha's Peytie Bondage dress was also on the bottom. It's really not a bad design, but it's poorly made. The straps are all weird, and the fabric is too stiff for the cut of the skirt. It's vaguely badass, and I don't think it's un-summery. Debi Mazar thinks it's dated and something Sylvester Stallone's second ex-wife Brigitte Nielsen might have worn. Which makes it 100% not Josephine Baker-esque.

Emily gets the win, as the only person in my mind who should have been on top in this challenge. Now she gets to design an inside-out cropped sweatshirt or a plain white T for En Colon Philanthropie. (Woo f-ing hoo, but remember,...100% for cancer research.) I think Ken should have been put out of our misery this week. It's clear that he's sick and tired of holding it together by this point (his big smiles at Zanna and Yvonne during the critique seemed painfully fake). But he gets to stay on, and Asha is kicked to the curb. I don't think she deserved to go, but as Kini opined in the green room, even good designers are eliminated at this point.

Next week: Boy George! And someone is sure to make a jumpsuit.

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Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

Flashback Friday - Project Runway - Nein!

This post was originally published on January 24, 2008.

Man, I was really cruel. Love it.
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Project Runway - Nein!

At the start of this episode, the remaining seven contestants are transported across the East River to a filthy Port Authority warehouse containing several hundred pairs of Levi's 501 jeans in various washes, hung like so much dirty laundry.

This week's challenge was issued by guest judge, Levi's creative director Caroline Calvin: "Create an iconic denim look of your choice that captures the originality and creativity embodied by the Levi's spirit" (or some ridiculous PR hooey like that).

It's Ready! Set! Go! as the designers race around madly, collecting garments with which to construct their newest project.

Back at Parsons, the designer set to squabbling. Christian, in his infinite wisdom and maturity, decides to harp about the challenge.

"Deconstruction. I did that in design school."
"Blah"
"I feel so manly working in denim."

Despite working well together last week (at least according to the editing), Chris had enough of Christian's whining:

"Someone give him a bottle and send him to bed."

"Christian is like a cartoon character," opined Rami. "If I had hair, I'd want to tear it out of my head."

Why not just grab a handful of Christian's instead? Bet it feels crusty.

As we look around the room at the designers' creations, we see that Victorya and Jillian are both making trench-coat-like garments. Jillian is a bit ticked because she thinks Victorya is stealing her idea from last week. But Jilly, baby, just because you got praised for it once doesn't mean you should do it again. It didn't work for Rami, and it won't work for you.

Tim Gunn then comes in to make disparaging comments about the works in progress.

Sweet P's denim wedding dress (!) makes Tim think of "happy hands at home granny circles" despite there being no grannies or circles in the vicinity. She gets extremely dismayed at his comment and immediately starts to change her design. Remember, the last time this happened, she ended up with a skirt resembling the sta-dri lining of a maxi pad.

So what did all this denim become in the end? The judges seemed really enthusiastic this week, giving far more praise to the designs they liked than usual.

Rami: No draping! Nearly-innovative use of zippers as ornament (see Sebelia, Jeffrey)! The judges were quite relieved to see something that they didn't have to pick apart. And the rest of the world was relieved that he wasn't such a royal ass this week.

Christian used pant legs as sleeves and sleeves as pant legs. The judges were too busy fawning over and petting the Shih Tzu that they didn't seem to notice that Christian made yet another jacket, and one that was patched together with different shades of denim creating a sort of fabric Frankenstein. In fact, it looked like he took this outfit and added extensions. And what's with the bulgy shoulders? Why is it that other designers get slammed for creating similar looks, but Christian hears nothing but praise?

Jillian's coat seemed like it could be a good idea at first (ignoring that we already saw it last week) but it ended up a hot mess in the end, with rough seams, too many fussy details, and mismatched denim. It was too complicated and ambitious for the amount of time allotted, particularly for one with time management issues. She's lucky that Victorya's coat was even uglier.

Chris disappointed the judges this week. After his dramatic creation last week, he delivers a boring version of a little black dress. It looked rough around the edges, and Heidi complained that it looked "home-sewn." MK thought it was "very Joan Cusack in 'Working Girl.'" Oh, were she that classy, Mike!

Sweet P, whose doom seemed all but spelled out in the workroom under Tim's baleful gaze, managed to create a nice strapless dress out of her potential nightmare wedding dress. Michael Kors thought it was "super-chic" and said it had some "slimming Voodoo." No, Michael, that model is a stick insect. She's so scrawny, she disappears when she turns sideways. It's not the dress.

Ricky: The judges are happy to see that Ricky finally put his lingerie experience to work. They wet their respective panties and proclaim the dress a miracle. Michael Kors foams at the mouth over Ricky's styling choices, exclaiming, "I love Amy Winehouse!" (Were I the model, I'd be insulted. I love Ms Winehouse too, but have you seen what that crackhead looks like these days? Truly sad.) And the biggest miracle of all - Ricky pulls off a win. To celebrate, he cries (natch).

Victorya turned out a "reconnoitered jacket with a party skirt glued on." Can't agree with you more, MK. It was sloppy, amateurish, and as noted by Nina, uninspired. Not to mention too similar to Jillian's coat. While this fembot has occasionally looked good for the final four, she got the boot this week.

Can't say I'll miss her.

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Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

Flashback Friday - The Fashion Show Postmortem

This post was originally published on the blog Blogging Bravo on July 30, 2009.
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The Fashion Show Postmortem

I used to write for Blogging Bravo, and one of the shows I covered there was one of Bravo's attempts at replacing Project Runway. Called "The Fashion Show," it wasn't bad, yet it wasn't particularly good, either.


The first season of The Fashion Show ended a week ago today; it's about time to take a look back and tear it apart make a critical assessment. A postmortem, if you will.

The show had both good and bad points. While I think we all were expecting it to be a real replacement for Project Runway, sadly, The Fashion Show did not deliver. Not that it was a bad show - I think if we didn't make comparisons to that other show, it could have seemed pretty fabulous. It gave us a bunch of talented up-and-coming designers, showing off their design skills while vying for both a cash prize and national recognition. But somehow it didn't seem to rouse the same passion in the viewer, didn't make us fall in love (or hate) with any one designer in particular. From what I can tell, it evoked a lot of general ennui. And some downright dislike.

What I Liked:

...Isaac Mizrahi being involved with the show, and the influential and knowledgeable Fern Mallis as judge.

...having a "quickfire"-type mini challenge and an elimination challenge.

...the home audience choosing the winner - as Issac says in the intro, TFS is about "real fashion for real people" and who is more real than those of us watching?

...the winning outfit available for purchase.

That's a pretty short list.

What I Disliked:

...Isaac Mizrahi as judge. While we like him in general and enjoyed watching him on his own show, he came off as a bit catty - ok, bitchy - on TFS. This is a man with a wealth of knowledge about the fashion industry and he could have been an enormous help to the designers as a mentor.

While we're on the subject of catty, I wasn't that crazy about the little conversations Isaac and Kelly would pretend to have after paying a visit to the designers in mid-process. "OMG! did you see that?" seems more appropriate coming from the NYC Prep kids than from professionals in the fashion industry. Well, Kelly isn't a professional, which brings us to...

...why Kelly Rowland? Because she sat in the front row at fashion shows? Wow, that makes me just as qualified! I think it would be fine if she were merely the hostess, but she is also a judge. I consider her neither a fashion professional nor a "real person" (she's a celebrity). I don't dislike Kelly, but I don't find her to be of much use to the show in general.

...while I did like the two-challenge-per-episode format, the time spent on the first challenge took away from time that could have been spent watching the designers interacting. Other than the bitchery between Daniella and Reco, we didn't get to see much of the designers' personalities, or how they bonded, something we're all used to on shows like PR and Top Chef. Face it - human interaction is part of the "reality" in a reality show.

...the overall look of the show was a bit drab and depressing. The workroom seemed gray, and was it really always night outside the windows? The lighting on the runway was also somehow off. The judging room was positively funereal.

...the cute catchphrases the Isaac and Kelly used when they cut a competitor. On Project Runway, Heidi's "auf wiedersehen" is natural - it means farewell, or until we meet again, in German. Heidi is German. Makes perfect sense. Every show now has to have its own version, and most are cheeseball. TFS is no exception, "we're not buying it" - ugh. And if that's not bad enough, Kelly has to say to the penultimate loser, "you're hanging by a thread." Or does she say...

That's what it sounds like to me.

Those are some of my thoughts. I also, for the most part, agree with Tom & Lorenzo's "Mid-Term Report." They have really contemplated the show and give some fabulous suggestions on improving things.

So what do you like and dislike about The Fashion Show? Do you want to see it come back for a second season? Would you make changes? Please leave your thoughts in the comments.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com
Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

The Fashion Show Ultimate Collection

Tonight is the season 2 premiere of Bravo's answer to Project Runway, The Fashion Show. TFS has been rebooted with a new hostess in the form of the rather intimidating Iman, and a new 2-team structure. But will it be better this time around? Watch tonight and find out.

Summer By Bravo

Ok, do you think all of the really Bravolebrities get together and party like this without flipping tables and verbal abuse?

Millionaire Matchmaker Contest

Hey folks - get thee over to Blogging Bravo and enter the Millionaire Matchmaker contest! BB is giving away three autographed copies of Patti Stanger's book, Become Your Own Matchmaker. You  know you want a millionaire of your own! (Who doesn't?)

Bravo Upfronts Reveal New Programming

Bravo has been busy busy and has lots of new goodies coming up:

The Fashion Show: Isaac Mizrahi and Destiny's Child's Kelly Rowland host as 15 designers compete in a weekly runway show (premiering May 7) judged by a studio audience. Each week's winning garment goes on sale to viewers online, and a popular vote picks the final victor, American Idol-style.

Launch My Line: Previously announced as Celebrity Sew-Off, this other fashion competition will pair established designers with "pop culture notables" -- stylists, music producers, choreographers, and whatnot -- who've always wanted to have their own fashion line. The winner will, yes, get his or her own line.

American Artist: Basically, Top Chef/Project Runway for artists, produced by Sarah Jessica Parker, aiming to "do for art what we've done for food, which is make it accessible," says programming exec Andy Cohen.

Currently in development are The Secret Lives of Supermodels, starring Mariel Hemingway and Maggie Rizer, and a show following former Project Runway contestant Laura Bennett. Sounds like Bravo will be an entertaining channel to watch in the year to come.

Bravo's A-List Awards

The A-List Awards were taped this past weekend, and tons of C- and D-list celebrities were in attendance.

Is Traci Lords anorexic now?  Why does she look so much like Renee Zellweger?

Wrinkled bedsheets seemed to be the event's signature look, as evidenced by Tori Spelling....

Rachel Zoe (who sported an equivalent amount of wrinkles on her face)...

...and the pregnant Cat Cora, whose poor boobs are being smashed in that dress. It's a pretty color on her though.

Are You Ready for Rachel?

Starting September 9, stylist to the stars Rachel Zoe stars in her own Bravo reality show, The Rachel Zoe Project. Can you believe Ms Rosenzweig, not-so-affectionately called "Raisin Face" by Perez Hilton, is only 37? That's what smoking and not eating will do to you, boys and girls!

New York Magazine's the Cut gave Zoe a back-handed compliment, saying maybe the show won't be half bad. (No telling at this point what the percentage of badness will be.)

Will you be watching?

Project Runway Premiere

I have been waiting for entirely too long for a new season of my favorite reality show, Project Runway. We got two seasons of Top Chef in the interim, but it's not the same thing. Although entertaining, there's none of the snark and little of the petty bitchiness of PR.

This time around, PR has upped the GQ. That's Gay Quotient. Eight of the designers are male, only one of whom, at least that I can tell, is straight. There's already been tears, from Ricky, while talking about the opportunity to be on Project Runway. So. Touching. Next week we're gonna get more. Oh baby, bring on the drama! We'll need it to liven things up, as the first few episodes are too full of mediocrity to be really interesting. Too many designers, not enough talent.

The episode started with the customary Meeting of the Designers in Their New Digs, this season at the Gotham rather than the Atlas. As each new person enters the scene, we see a bit of a cutaway interview and get a little info about him or her. When we see Simone, her name flashes on the screen and immediately we are introduced to the next person. "A-ha!" I exclaimed, "Simone will be eliminated this week." ::::cue dramatic organ music of portension here::::

For the most part, this team of designers is young and attractive, apart from all of the scary tattoos and Sweet P's eyebrows. The one standout in all the pretty is Christian, a bloviating youngster from Annapolis and alumnus of the Baltimore School for the Arts (alma mater of Jada Pinkett Smith and Tupac Shakur), who resembles a reject from the Flock of Seagulls reunion tour with his intentionally cowlicked hair. He's small and mouthy and one of those obnoxious children one hates at first sight...the Marcel Vigneron of Project Runway. His affected tone also bears resemblance to that other creature I love to hate, Paris Hilton.

Back to the show...once all designers are present and accounted for, they scurry to Bryant Park to drink champagne and meet Tim and Heidi. They then receive their first challenge which resembled a three-legged race to a pre-Christmas one-day sale: run across the park and manhandle $50K worth of Mood-donated fabrics to create an outfit that shows who they are as a designer. Laughter (the pathetic/uneasy sort) ensued when tubby costume designer Chris couldn't get his portly ass to the tents as fast as the rest of the manic gang. He still ended up with good fabric, despite the mess left behind by the greedy gropers as they cadged their loot.

With a challenge like this one expects to see something interesting. Why did the judges choose these particular designers to compete for the big money? That is a question that so far will remain unanswered. Too many of the outfits that came down the runway were just plain uninteresting. There were several short, unflattering, baby-doll-type dresses that resembled prostitutes nightgowns (should they feel the need to wear nightgowns), one pants suit, a few long dresses. Highlights and lowlights follow:

I couldn't really see the details of this black dress too well because of the...blackness...but I wasn't fond of it at all.


Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Dress. The front is fine - slinky, interesting, good color. The back, however, was scary. To paraphrase Heidi, she looked as if she was oozing fabric. Heidi actually said "poo-ing," suggesting some pretty weird anatomy since the "train" was attached somewhere around the back of the knee. And that was probably why it dragged so unappealingly on the ground, making Elisa's model Lea stumble. Or it could have been those 80s cast-off boots. Or all of the above.


Christian made an interesting plaid jacket that unfortunately made his model's head look too small (the Olive Oyl hairdo didn't help), and what was that weird furry trim down the front? I hated the bland beige skirt. Perhaps some skinny black trousers would have worked better but the judges (and I wonder about them sometimes) seemed to like it ok.


Such a sad expression. But you can see why. What is the skirt made of, and why are we seeing the underside of the material? It looks thick and coarse, like denim. Or oilcloth. Or even naugahyde. It makes her look bloated.


The shrugly thing on top hid the ill-fitting bodice, but it certainly didn't improve the outfit. And damn, wasn't I right about Simone getting the boot?


The best and winning look came from Rami who showed himself to be a master draper. He also brought back the fleurchon in a big way. Michael Kors didn't like it, saying it was too "mother-of-the-bride." Indeed. It's something Angelina Jolie might wear to the wedding of her Zahara or Shiloh. Oddly, nobody commented on the fugly shoes that came from the Bluefly wall o' accessories. Too clunky, bad color for the dress.

Thus concludes the long-awaited Season Four recap. Such as it is. I hope to be more entertaining in the future.