Project Runway All Stars Season 5 Episode 11, or, Avant Garde a Clue

This week, PRAS gets all artsy-fartsy (or, as Zanna and Mrs Weinstein might pronounce it, aahtsy-faahtsy) on us. The five remaining designers meet Alyssa at Agora Gallery in Chelsea, where the current show is an exhibition of some of "New York's cutting edge artists."

Alyssa, who appears to be dressed as an android, at least from what little we can see of her outfit (and, oddly, it has potential), tells the designers that this is the Avant Garde challenge, and they are to produce wearable works of art, innovative out-of-the-box fashion, dramatic looks, and assorted other adjectival phrases. She then reveals the name of the guest judge this week--Boy George--which is probably some contractual obligation on the show's part. Because - why does it matter? They're not designing for him. He just wants to get his name out early and often, I suppose.

The designers toast with champagne and schmooze the artists for inspiration. Sam is absolutely fixated on Carl Hopgood's piece, "Digital Taxidermy," a digital video of an owl under a glass dome. Hopgood says the concept of the piece is taking a moment and making it last forever, which really resonates with Sam. Sam is excited about gay marriage being legal across the US and wants to celebrate that in his garment. Hopefully, legal marriage for all isn't just a "moment in time," and will be an enduring thing. Unfortunately, with the current divisive political climate, nothing in this country seems to be guaranteed anymore.

Both Emily and Ken are inspired by the works of Lexi Bella, an artist who paints "strong women." Be careful with googling her; there is also a Lexi Belle, who does porn, and she has far, far more links. Of course, if you're into that stuff, google away. I'm not so impressed by Bella; her work looks a lot like the partial faces and portraits of imaginary women I doodled on my book covers in high school, only bigger and in color. However, both designers feel they design for "strong women" (does anyone design for weak women?) and her words and images resonate with them.

I'm far more into what Dom is into - the work of Juan Carlos Pinto, who makes mosaics out of cut up Metro Cards (and other stuff). I love mosaics; I suppose it's not unlike the beadwork I've done in the past, attaching small pieces together to form a cohesive whole, only in 2D. Dom recognizes that the way she plays with fabrics is not dissimilar to the effect of Pinto's cutting and pasting.

Kini gets into the work of Bradley Theodore, whose boldly colored works make me think of both Matisse and classic Mexican Day of the Dead iconography. Theodore is primarily a street artist, but his work translates well to the smaller scale of canvas.

The designers sketch for a while at the gallery. Have you noticed that what they are actually sketching doesn't always (often not at all) resemble the sketches that are blown up for our viewing pleasure? Clearly they make the designers re-draw their creations after they are finished, and those "sketches" are the ones shown to us with the designer's voice-over. Personally, I'd rather see the originals, as it gives us a glimpse into the design process and the way it evolves while making a piece. The original design often changes quite a bit, as seen in Ken's original and post-sewing drawings.

The budget for this challenge is $400. At Mood, we find Kini once again buying brocade. WTcompleteF? And Sam, who has just as much money to spend as everyone else, instead buys some floaty fabric and a ton of fabric paints.

This week, in addition to Kini's now-expected bitching about Sam, Ken gets to have his say as well. He thinks Sam is a huge threat (notice he didn't say "competition,") not because of his talent, but because he holds the judges in some strange thrall. That's called "producer manipulation," Ken. Kini seems to think that an avant garde look requires a lot of technical skills, which he believes Sam is lacking. But that's not necessarily true. To be avant garde simply means to be innovative, or in the forefront. To do something that nobody else has done before. The early 20th century art movement called Dada or Dadaism is a good example. While today, in the age of the Piss Christ, a urinal posing as art is no big thing, back then, it was shocking and unexpected. It wasn't art, it was anti-art. Yet somehow that made it art. So really, anything goes when it comes to avant garde fashion, as long as it still remains fashion, that is, wearable. However, Sam seems to think that it's about "an idea, a feeling," and that the type of avant garde that is "overdone and ridiculous" is not who he is as a designer.

What we have here is a clear non-understanding of the concept of avant garde. Admittedly, it is somewhat difficult. It is very very hard to be an innovator.

Sewing, sewing, bitching, then Day One comes to an end. Luckily, the designers have two days for this challenge, and not long after they get to the workroom on Day Two, Zanna comes in for...what would you call the opposite of a pep talk? A demoralization meeting? She starts with Emily, and tells her that her dress might be too literal a translation of the painting, what with the colors and the mimicking of the shapes on the upper left side. It's clearly an Emily dress, and while a cool concept, it's not particularly avant garde. Zanna tells Dom to "bring it." Kini's look isn't particularly modern or avant garde. (I blame the brocade.) She tells Ken not to make his dress too "Blade Runner." But if he could somehow make his dress look like a (much) younger Harrison Ford, we'd all be happy.

Ken is happy that this is a two-day challenge, as he's decided to scrap his original idea and make some major changes. His first (real) sketch showed a cage-like structure around the neck and shoulders. He chucks this out the window and works on a "neckpiece, collar moment" that will cover his model's face. And look like a giant leather taco.

When Zanna questions Sam about his choice of a rainbow, he tells her about wanting to capture the whole gay marriage is legal moment. She tells him that it's not about capturing a moment in his life, but about being inspired by the artist. But Sam is clearly inspired by the artist and the artist's concept, which is about capturing a moment. Had he decided to make an owl costume for his model, she would have had issues with that as well. The real issue here is that his design is probably not avant garde. Oh, and rainbows are a cliche.

Like Ken, Sam is happy that he has extra time for this challenge, because he is, once again, for the umpty-eleventh time in this competition, going to scrap his original design and make a jumpsuit start over. He bought some filmy purple fabric in addition to the stuff he painted, and he drapes that over the rainbow. As Sam's draping and sewing, draping and sewing, Ken gets another bee in his bonnet about Sam's lack of construction technique. He actually finds it disrespectful. There's lots of bleeping as he curses up a storm.

Eventually time is up, bitching is momentarily halted, and the designers send their models to hair and makeup. Obvious rummaging through the K-Mart Shoe and Jewelry Sale Rack also happens. Time for the runway!

Mini Cher Alyssa introduces the regular judges--Mrs Weinstein and the Iconic Isaac...

...and Boy George. I love me some Boy George. We're of the same generation, and I spent what I consider the best musical years of my life listening to Culture Club (among other artists) being fascinated by George O'Dowd's androgynous appearance. When I was in high school, I constructed a life-sized fabric mannequin of the Boy, which sat around in my bedroom for about a decade before I disassembled him and reclaimed my favorite t-shirt, which he had been wearing (it was pink, had a drawing of Big Ben, and "London" in a fancy gothic typeface). His latest album, This Is What I Do, is pretty terrific, IMHO.

The runway show goes so quickly with only five competitors left.

It's hard to tell from the commentary immediately following the runway which looks are on top and which suck. Dom is one who is on top with her mosaic dress and wacky makeup. I wonder if Zanna mentioned to her that her look was also a pretty literal translation of the original work of art, in both the colors and the effect of the pattern? The colors and patterns also remind me a bit of Roy Lichtenstein, an artist famous for his comic book-style pop art images. This look is 100% not avant garde and 100% Dom. Perhaps had Sam made this dress, which 100% would not have happened, it would seem more avant garde, because it would be 100% unexpected from him.

Also on the top and 100% representative of its author is Kini's dress. Personally, I hate it. There's so much damn technique going on. The body suit with full head mask, which echoes the black shapes of the figures in inspiration artist Bradley Theodore's works, isn't particularly new, and it's weird and lumpy. The "bow" looks heavy. And despite the skirt being hot pink instead of screaming yellow, I can't help but think of Big Bird. Isaac thinks it's too pretty, and Georgina thinks it's something that might have been worn on "Dinnastee" (Dynasty) in the 80s.

Ken's giant black taco is the closest to avant garde we get on this runway. His model's head appears to be floating, which is a neat effect. The rest of the look falls into the "nice dress with ruffled sleeves" category. Boy George thinks it's "pure Grace Jones," which I can see. Isaac thinks it's divine, but it's slightly too short and needs a bit more drama at the bottom, like a train. 

Poor Emily is on the bottom for creating something that is simply too wearable. The OCD knitter in me wants to unknit her cables and reknit them correctly. One judge opines that it would have been better if the shoulders were huge. Emily mentioned earlier in the show that that wouldn't be her thing, but we don't know if that confessional had been filmed before or after the runway show. The judges also think it might have been better in all black, but that still wouldn't have made it avant garde. However, it's a cool dress, and styled well.

Then we get to Sam, who has to explain his whole "gay marriage moment in time" thing. The judges love the story; Boy George wishes he had heard it before he saw the piece. Georgina thinks the design is unresolved, and Alyssa thinks it looks like a kite caught in a tree. Isaac LOVES it. It's his favorite look of the day, despite the fact the model is not wearing flats. He is obviously drinking the producer's Sam-flavored kool-aid by the gallon. Either that, or he wants to get into Sam's pants. Eww*. (Could be difficult, as Sam, King of the Jumpsuits, is wearing a jumpsuit.)

I don't really know what to say about it. Ken and Kini have thrown enough shade at Sam; I don't need to pile on. Suffice it to say that I think he could have done better, even keeping the whole rainbow flag motif. It's more sloppy than avant garde.

While the judges deliberate, we have even more drama between Ken and Sam in the green room. Ken calls him a snake and a liar. And while it's true that Sam has not produced many memorable garments this season, it's not his fault that he wasn't eliminated weeks ago despite being on the bottom three times prior to this one. Blame the producers, who have sacrificed quality for drama this season. It's one thing when producer interference is subtle (and it's bound to happen every season), but this season it's painfully obvious.

Back out on the runway, Ken is named the winner. Congrats to him for understanding the concept! And while Georgina thinks that Sam's entry in the competition looks like a panic and a mistake, with neither Alyssa nor George being particularly into it, he is safe. Which means Emily is out. Which is completely ridiculous. Perhaps if she had stuck to her original concept of the dress appearing to be unraveling, and really exaggerated that with strands draping the floor and coming detached (maybe with wire inserted into the tubes and bent into flowy shapes), giving it a bigger collar, and yes, bigger shoulders, she wouldn't have been on the bottom. Certainly not eliminated. But someone had to go, and apparently it was not/is never going to be Sam.

Next week: the return of past PRAS winners and Nina Garcia! And we also get a glimpse of Alyssa saying something about "for the first time this season, the judges can't make a decision," which: 1) is a lie, they couldn't decide whom to auf in two episodes so far; 2) might mean that all four remaining designers go to the finale. Ugh.

* Isaac looks like he might smell like mothballs. Or whatever cheap perfume Shawnie Sue is wearing on his QVC segments. Plus, he's more than twice Sam's age at 54. When I was 23, 30 was ancient.

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Project Runway All Stars Season Five Episode Ten, or, Everybody Smoked Crack This Week

I'm not feeling this week's episode. It annoyed me, and I'm tired (it's been a stressful week). Despite the presence of two of my favorite PR designers, Dom and Kini, I am finding this season of PRAS to be altogether lackluster and repetitive. While Dom has been cranking out great stuff every week, she's barely being recognized. Kini's done some good stuff, but he's too busy rolling his eyes at Sam to reach his true potential. And I'm starting to feel that this season is being manipulated so that Sam gets the win at the end. Not that he's a bad designer, not by a long shot. I just don't think he's shown anything this season that's good enough for a $100,000 grand prize. I hope I'm wrong, because I don't want to end this season angry, as I was at the end of PR Season 8, when Gretchen won. Gretchen. Still makes me grind my teeth when I think about it.

On with the whining.

This week, the designers are back at their normal beginning-of-the-show meeting spot - the runway. Alyssa comes in wearing black pants and a red jacket and she looks...amazing. And in a good way.

I'm so busy being shocked at Alyssa's transformation that I almost miss the name and organization of her special guest presenter, Yvonne Niami. Niami is a philanthropist, which means she gives money away to good causes. She is so philanthropic, in fact, she founded a company called n:philanthropy (which I can't help but want to call "En Colon Philanthropy" because punctuation + the lack of capital letters is pretentious) to remind everyone about her super-philanthropic-ness. With its creative director, Alexandre Caugant, the company produces "apparel with a purpose/fashion with a mission." (It also appears to be "athleisure" wear.) Ten percent of the net proceeds of En Colon Philanthropie (spelling change in honor of the French dude) go to pediatric cancer research and animal welfare. Ten whole percent. I've never found 10% to be an incentive to buy anything, sales included. It's a mere one out of every ten dollars, and a dollar doesn't go all that far, particularly when it comes to medicine. I'd rather give money directly to an organization; you can keep the $128 shrunken sweatshirts and $70 distressed "BFF t-shirts." "But," you sputter, "$12.80 cents of that sweatshirt goes to Children's Hospital Los Angeles!" Nope. That would be 10% of gross earnings. This is net, which means after expenses and taxes and all the other expenditures that come with running a business. We have no idea how much really goes to help others without seeing their financial paperwork. (Stuff to keep in mind before you donate to any charity: how much do the people who need it really get? If not a lot, then find someplace else to give.)

So the challenge this week is to make something that fits a lot of random adjectives: modern, sophisticated, and badass. The designers need to create something fashion forward for summer, to be worn by a "rebel with a cause." Everyone pretends to be excited, but you know they're all just exhausted by this point. I know I am. (Being marginally clever is hard work.) And the winner of the challenge gets to design a look for En Colon Philanthropie's summer line. All the profits from this look go to Children's Hospital LA, so at least that's something (in other words, you can feel good about buying the winner's collaboration).

The designers head off to sketch and shop at Mood, where the budget is $250. Ken and Asha both say that the sophisticated badass woman is just the person for each of their aesthetics. Josephine Baker is Asha's ideal "rebel with a cause," so why does she choose to work with the abstract patterned fabric that Peytie used in the last two episodes of Project Runway Junior? It doesn't exactly scream "talented and exotic dancer who made her mark in France because her home country of the US didn't get her, never depended on a man for financial support, did undercover work for the French during WW II and was a sub-lieutenant in the Women's Auxiliary Air Force,  adopted 12 children of different ethnicities (eat your heart out, Angelina Jolie), and received a 21-gun salute at her Paris funeral before being buried in Morocco." But whatever. Details.

Kini buys some crazy-ass acid yellow and silver lamé/damask fabric (we'll call it "lameassk"). Fabric choices have certainly been out there this season.


Dom chooses various metallic fabrics and lamé, because, you know, it needs to be a summer look. "Summer" is the only thing that Sam heard, so he buys seersucker.

Back at the workroom, Sam tells us he's making--surprise!--a jumpsuit. I know when it's summer and I'm sweaty and gross, I definitely want to struggle with taking off a jumpsuit when I have to pee. Actually, that's true any time of year. Jumpsuits, and their sassy cousin, the romper, might look cool, but they are not practical unless you have a catheter, in which case they need to have wide legs. And, to me, seersucker screams "pretentious yuppie in a straw hat," or maybe "railroad worker." Sam admits that it's easy to make black look badass, but that one would need to "design the hell" out of pretentious yuppie/railroad worker fabric to achieve the same result. So why make the challenge even more challenging?

In the sewing room, Sam blurts out "Mommy wants me to wear one of her old suits; I'll show her." We're going to assume that he's speaking in the voice of the woman he's designing for, some child (or pretentious yuppie) that still calls her mother "Mommy" and has some sewing skills. As if "Mommy" even had a seersucker suit. Dom is in the room with him at the time and tells us the he must design for 15-year-olds.

 Somebody has to design for 15-year-olds, I suppose.

Zanna comes in for her weekly chat, and brings Yvonne Niami with her. Niami is wearing an En Colon Philanthropie pleather dress with long fringes. Trashbag Chic. They start with Emily's "rework of a power suit," and suggest that she might be doing too many things, what with a hand-painted vest, voluminous print pants, etc. Emily decides to crop her pants to keep things more summery. Asha's look, which not only involves Peytie's fabric but also lots of semi bondage-esque straps, seems to read fall-winter (but it doesn't, really, they just need something mean to say). Dom's silver and black dress is also not particularly summery, and maybe a bit too sophisticated, without that "Dom edge."

Zanna calls Kini's crazy yellow genie pants with sorta matching yellow tweed jacket a "disco banana" (pronounced buh-nohh-nohh) and says it needs to look more "sophisticated call girl." Or maybe she said sophisticated cool girl.

Sam's jumpsuit look is "safe" and "Hampton's," which I suppose they meant as an insult, but considering that people who go to the Hampton's will probably be the ones buying this stuff, it's actually not.

Sam doesn't want to send "safe" and "boring" down the runway, so he decides to take his jumpsuit apart with two hours left in the day and start over. Doesn't he do this every other week? He's switching to a spin on a "rock and roll tuxedo." Unfortunately, he's still using seersucker, a fabric that Kini associates with babies. Pretentious yuppie babies that work on the railroad.

After the "disco banana" comment, Kini decides to dip dye his yellow jacket with black. I couldn't help but think, as he slipped on a black rubber glove, of OJ Simpson. And nobody wants to think of OJ Simpson.

And the black dye? Not an improvement. In fact, it might make things even worse. Sam says Kini's look is "more drag queen than badass," and that the "weird iguana genie pants" makes his model's ass look "3 feet wide." But Sam is using seersucker. SEER-SUCK-ER. So he shouldn't really talk.

Ken, who thinks his pants are "faboluss," is having a problem with the top. He's using an orange-y fabric not all that different in hue from the neoprene he was stuck with in that awkward fabric-switching challenge a few weeks ago, but he just can't make it do what he wants. Not that he knows what he wants. He thinks it looks cheap and ugly, and last time he did ugly, he went home. Dun dun DUN!

On to the BJs Wholesale Warehouse Hair and Makeup Studios, where we hear the show's resident makeup guru, Scott Patric, say the strange but somehow magical words "gelato swirl illuminator in ballerina." What can it mean?

After makeup and still without a proper top, Ken grabs some of the white fabric he used for the pants and whips up a halter in the five minutes they have before heading out to the runway. It's pretty, but it's not anything we haven't already seen. In the 1970s.

Speaking of 1970s, Dom's cranked out something that would make Bob Mackie and Cher proud. So much lamé and silver. So over-embellished. In fact, it reminds me of the "fortune teller" costume that I had for my Cher doll in the 70s (see below).

On to the runway!

After doing so well in her first appearance, Alyssa has slipped from "looking great" to full on crazy. She looks dumpy and neckless, even a little bit...fat. The wide expanse of black fabric across her ample bosom is simply unflattering. While the getup she's wearing might be fine on a 6'1" model with a long bony neck, on someone 5'2", it looks costume-y. Like a Princess Leia reject.

She introduces this week's guest judges, actress and star of Cooking Channel's Extra Virgin, Debi Mazar, and regular PR judge, fashion designer, and brooch-wearer, Zac Posen.

The runway show is unspectacular. And short, as there are only six designers left.

Emily's look is terrific. Not sure that culottes are "badass" but the overall look works with all of the adjectives assigned at the beginning of the challenge. Everybody loves it, but Isaac doesn't get parts of it. When they were back in the workroom, Ken wondered, admiringly, how the various shapes in Emily's designs come to her head. Some people are just unconventional thinkers, which may or may not make them better artists.

Kini wisely decides to leave the ugly yellow and black jacket in the workroom. His pants are quite enough, thank you.  He gets mixed reactions, from a "kooky 50s throwback" to "summery, edgy, and ballsy." Georgina is perplexed. Somehow he's on the top.

Sam's jumpsuit is just...odd. Zac doesn't love it, and Alyssa doesn't equate seersucker with "badass" (of course not) but the other three judges seem pleased. Even though there's something very "Baby Bjorn" to it, only missing the baby. The pants fit very well, but I have to hope there's a side zipper going on somewhere, otherwise how does this thing come on and off? And there's definitely no place to hide a catheter.

Bob Mackie's Dom's look isn't summery at all, and the slit is too high. It is badass, and definitely Dom, what with all the embroidery and various fabrics and quilting. Had the challenge been anything else (create a modern interpretation of a baked potato; create something for a Kardashian to wear to the movies; create something for Cher! The Musical), it might have won. As it was, Dom ended up on the bottom.

Ken's "faboluss" pants were neither badass nor fashion forward. Isaac thought they were too long, which they are. Ken got mouthy and said that his model walked just fine, but that's not the point. They are too long. If the top of the cuff is dragging on the ground, they Are. Too. Long.

Asha's Peytie Bondage dress was also on the bottom. It's really not a bad design, but it's poorly made. The straps are all weird, and the fabric is too stiff for the cut of the skirt. It's vaguely badass, and I don't think it's un-summery. Debi Mazar thinks it's dated and something Sylvester Stallone's second ex-wife Brigitte Nielsen might have worn. Which makes it 100% not Josephine Baker-esque.

Emily gets the win, as the only person in my mind who should have been on top in this challenge. Now she gets to design an inside-out cropped sweatshirt or a plain white T for En Colon Philanthropie. (Woo f-ing hoo, but remember,...100% for cancer research.) I think Ken should have been put out of our misery this week. It's clear that he's sick and tired of holding it together by this point (his big smiles at Zanna and Yvonne during the critique seemed painfully fake). But he gets to stay on, and Asha is kicked to the curb. I don't think she deserved to go, but as Kini opined in the green room, even good designers are eliminated at this point.

Next week: Boy George! And someone is sure to make a jumpsuit.

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Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

Project Runway All Stars Season 5 Episode 9 or Athleisure is an Ugly Word

This week, the designers find themselves at Coney Island, only they're not going to eat hot dogs and ride roller coasters (especially not one after the other). Instead, they head to the poetically named MCU Park, home of the Brooklyn Cyclones, a Mets-affiliated A-class minor league baseball team. Alyssa meets them there, along with their models, all attired in what is to be the theme of this week's challenge - athleisure wear.

Eight years ago, she created Touch by Alyssa Milano to satisfy the needs of women who like to look pretty while watching men smash things like cleats or hockey sticks or each other's faces into turf or ice (or each other's faces). Also for those women who don't really like sports but pretend to so they can attract men (or women) who do. In any case, this week, the seven remaining designers have to take inspiration from Alyssa's line to create high end athleisure wear that can take a woman from the runway to the game to dinner. And in the tradition of Heidi Klum, she'll steal the winning design for her line. Now if that's not incentive.... The designers pretend to get excited. Seriously, do the producers feed them lines for their cutaway interviews? Dom seems especially pumped to design something for Alyssa. I don't get it.

I also don't get "athleisure," a portmanteau of "athletic" and "leisure." Ok, I do. It's the inevitable next step in the devolution of American fashion. It's a celebration of complete and utter laziness, coupled with a bit of arrested development, stemming from people thinking that it's perfectly fine to wear sweat pants and yoga pants (yes, and pajama bottoms) when they go out in public. Like college students on an afternoon Doritos and beer run. Now, a show about fashion is encouraging people to wear their yoga pants (which of course they have never used for actual yoga) not only to the grocery store, but also out to dinner. Over the years, dress codes have relaxed, and nobody blinks an eye at women wearing baby pink Juicy Couture sweatsuits, or leggings with PINK! emblazoned across their ample asses, paired with UGGs. It's shameful. It's not even ok to dress this way at Applebee's, much less any place with cachet, like a public sidewalk or insane asylum.

It is ironic that a show like Downton Abbey, which depicts an age when the wealthy changed into task-specific outfits several times a day and wore formal wear to dinner every night, was so popular in this country of people who can barely be bothered to take off their sleep wear during the day. [/rant]

The designers spend some time in the stands at Municipal Credit Union Park sketching. Asha tells us that she thinks both Sam and Layana have an advantage in this challenge since "athleisure" is their thing. A portent, perhaps, that both are going to end up on the bottom?

At Mood the designers have the customary $200 budget and 30 minutes in which to spend it. We see several of them clustered in the neoprene aisle, because thick, sweaty polyester is sooo comfortable to lounge in, especially after an exhilarating scuba dive. Kini and Sam find that they have both purchased the same mesh fabric that Sam used last week, which while slightly unimaginative, is a sight better than that hideous blue and silver lace from two weeks ago.

Back in the workroom, when Sam sees the intricate seaming pattern Layana is using for her leggings, he tells us that she may be his biggest competition this challenge, but he must get his dress in Alyssa's line. That's practically a guarantee both are on the bottom.

It seems that everyone has bought blue fabric. Dom is concerned that everyone's work will end up looking the same. This is something that has come up regularly over the many seasons of Project Runway. When two designers have the same or similar fabric, someone has to pipe up that they worry that there will be similar looks. How is that possible? Each designer has his or her own style and way of doing things. There's no way that similar fabric will turn out similar clothing from different people, except by freakish chance. In fact, I'd like to see a challenge to address this. Every designer must use the same exact fabrics. I guarantee, that given no other challenge parameters (like create "athleisure" wear, or a flight attendant uniform) that no two looks will be similar.

Zanna pops in for a critique. She's wearing lace. Is this considered "athleisure?"

Sam is working on a blue neoprene dress with an overlay of white mesh. He also has some black lace that he's attempting to make work. (I'm beginning to think he suffered a mild stroke in the fabric choosing portion of his brain.) At the moment, he has the lace all down the back of the dress, which prompts Zanna to call the front "ath" and the back, "leisure." Which causes my own small stroke because the word "leisure" conjures up images of polyester suits with wide collars and contrasting topstitching and Las Vegas tourists in ugly shorts with dark socks and sneakers. Not lace.

Zanna seems to like Asha's look, a sports bra and a skirt that resembles the lower half of a baseball jersey. She calls Dom's batwing dress unique, and finds Kini's and Layana's designs to be more "sporty" than "athleisure." Which causes me to have another mini stroke. Not all that long ago, most non-evening, non-couture fashion was called "sportswear." It had nothing to do with sport of any kind. It involved skirts, blouses, jackets, you know, average clothing seen everyday. Clothing for people that weren't too lazy to pull up a zipper or button a button. Why is Kini's oversized baseball jacket and jeans "sporty" but Dom's convertible dress "athleisure?" The latter is clearly sportswear. Layana's pants are leggings; how is that not "athleisure?"

I am so confused. Even more confused when Zanna tells Emily that the subtle cowl neck she plans to put on her top is "too lady who lunches." I love a good cowlneck, but I am not a lady who lunches. Some might claim that I'm not particularly ladylike, either. Zanna does seem to like Ken's lace hoodie though, which looks better close up than it does from a distance.

But poor Ken is having issues. He ends up sewing the shoulder seams wrong and starts to get, as he says, "fustrated." So fustrated, in fact, that he puts everything down and walks out. We see him hailing a cab while the remaining designers wonder what the hell just happened.

The next day, the designers are back in the workroom, but still no Ken. He then strolls in and gets back to work as if nothing happened. And while Sam calls Ken a diva who, if he had hair he'd be flipping it, it's clear to see that the young man has really matured in the last couple of years (Ken, not Sam). On his season of Project Runway, there was a famous ironing-in-the-apartment scene between Ken and Alexander that did not end well. I don't think many viewers would have been shocked if Ken had swept out of the room melodramatically, cursing loudly, but he was rather low key about it. As he tells us, he felt like he was about to explode, and he didn't want to take it out on his fellow designers. He was frustrated with himself, so he took himself away from the situation.

As he was wearing a different outfit when he returned to the workroom, it's clear that at some point he went back to their living quarters. Or one of the producers brought him clothes. Or something. Ken tells us he had a good night's sleep, but where did he sleep? Perhaps someone can shed a little light on the situation for me?

The designers scramble to finish. Layana drapes a top with Ken's white leather, then decides it's too casual. She drapes another with a dark fabric and adds a bit of leather to it before pronouncing it perfect. Ken decides his outfit needs more of the black lace and quickly sews on a pocket. He throws some shade Sam's way, suggesting that his simple a-line dress is what a "10-year-old would make with her first pink sewing machine." Ouch. And that he puts flats on his model because he knows Isaac favors flats. Sam is not dumb, Ken.

Time for the runway!

Alyssa is wearing what I'm going to call "ath-ugly." A cheap-looking t-shirt with cropped drawstring sweatpants is bad enough, but the shirt also features a bizarre white and gold overlay, not unlike particularly fancy chicken wire. A big fail from Touch by Alyssa Milano, IMHO. Lots of oversized jewelry and dramatic eye makeup complete the look, along with yet another pair of ankle-strap shoes. What's with the ankle strap shoes?

The guest judge this week is Kristin Cavallari, former star of reality shows Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County and The Hills, and wife of Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler (that's quarterback, for you non-sports fans). I guess the fact that she was on shows that also starred Lauren Conrad (who attended FIDM and has designed for Kohl's) and is married to an athlete gives her enough fashion clout to judge a competition. (She has designed a shoe line with Chinese Laundry, but um, who cares? It never will be quite the same as actual designer Christian Siriano doing a line for Payless.) Also, fellow football wife who might actually know something about fashion, Gisele Bundchen, wanted too much money. They didn't bother asking Elizabeth Hasselbeck (who is also a football wife).

There are only seven designers left, so I will talk about all seven looks, including Emily's.

Safe once again this week, for whatever reason. Emily's look is great. It's soft and flowy, leisurely without looking like cheap athletic wear (ahem, Alyssa). Her model would be the chic-est gal at the ballpark, and would definitely not look out of place enjoying dinner somewhere nice. And then she could even go clubbing. I think the look is that versatile.

Now for the top looks:

Dom is truly a master of mixing patterns and fabrics. There were differences of opinion about the length of the skirt, but the overall idea of making the dress transition from day to evening was well-received. Isaac thought the illusion back was "everything." It's pretty fab, as per Dom's usual.

Kini's jacket is also great, clearly borrowing athletic details from baseball warm-up jackets. Georgina wasn't too fond of the crotch on the jeans, which Kini called "boyfriend" style, but overall everyone liked this look. I'm not sure how it fits the "athleisure" requirement, as nobody is going to do anything particularly athletic in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, nor in a coat. This is straight up sport wear inspired sportswear.

Asha's look was also on top, Her skirt is clever, though the judges don't seem to like the buttons she used. I didn't understand what they meant at first, as Asha's inspiration was a baseball jersey and they do have buttons. However, an entire jersey only has six buttons, and the skirt sports 10. As they are non-functional, she could have gotten away with only using four, and definitely not extending them all the way to the hem. Otherwise, well-made and cute.

Now for the bottom three. It was actually hard to tell who was on the bottom, since apart from Dom and Kini, the judges feedback for four of the looks (including Asha's) was pretty mixed.

Ken was on the bottom. Personally, I thought it was cute, and a good idea. It seemed to fit the challenge well: I could see this worn to a game, and then to dinner. Isaac thought it looked cheap, and I think that's one of the problems with using lace. Kristin Cavallari liked it, but who cares?

Sam declared his dress "athleisure couture," but it really looks like the result of the Placemats by Pier One unconventional materials challenge. Yes, it's cute, but it's a party dress. Georgina claimed she would wear it to a sporting event, but then she wouldn't go to a sporting event, and even if she did, it would be a polo match or horse race or somewhere else people drink Pimm's and wear ugly hats. Isaac is swayed enough by the flat shoes that he loves the look, but Alyssa considers it a slap in the face. Kinda the same way I feel about just about everything she has worn this season.

Layana's look was also on the bottom, despite the flats. The judges determine the leggings aren't flattering; I think they are an odd length, although they don't look bad in the photos. Were they full-length, I think they'd be better. The pattern and construction was certainly unique and Layana deserves props for going to all the effort. The judges weren't happy with the top and didn't think the two pieces worked together. Personally, I think Layana should have stuck to her original white leather top, which while simple, didn't detract from the pants at all.

Back in the green room, the tops and bottoms give Emily the rundown of criticism. Sam seems proud that even though he's on the bottom, Georgina would wear his dress. That comment got us the best facial expressions of the show.

This week's winner is Kini, because you know Alyssa could see a Mets logo plastered everywhere on that jacket. Dom's dress was the best, I think, but it was far far FAR too high-end for Touch by Alyssa Milano. Even after modifying it (which Alyssa stated more than once that they'd do to the winning design) it wouldn't be cheap enough and still have the same feel. (But be on the lookout for an oversized sweatshirt with snap-off skirt extension coming to the line sometime in 2017!)

Layana, after spending several of the last weeks on the bottom, is released from her design duties and sent home. I am relieved.

Next week: More Kini vs. Sam and Alyssa vs. Her Wardrobe.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com
Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

Project Runway All Stars Season 5 Episode 8, or the Neverending Season

At the end of last week's recap, I joked that this week's episode would include a jumpsuit from Sam, unflattering looks for Alyssa, and Kini telling us how much he hates Sam. I am happy to report that I was wrong on one of the things and only half right on another. With the third, sadly, I was spot on.

First of all, Alyssa looked pretty good this week (the half right).

We couldn't see the whole of her first look on air, but I imagined the somewhat shapeless frock ended somewhere around the knee. Then I found a photo on the Lifetime site and saw that I was wrong--it had a handkerchief hem and an overlay of an illusion fabric that looked like fringe. So not great, but hey, not as bad as it could have been. The neckline was very flattering. Let's not talk about the shoes.

I also thought her makeup was nice, until I noticed that her eyebrows had been drawn a good half-inch longer than was natural. Are crazy brows coming back? She looked better later in the show. Not perfect, but pretty good. We'll get to that when the time comes.

Second, Sam did not make a jumpsuit. He made a crop top, which is the second default for young designers. (There was at least one every week on Project Runway Junior.) But I'm getting ahead of myself here. On with the show!

The designers gather at the Drama Book Shop on 40th Street between 7th and 8th Ave. This 99-year-old shop that specializes in books on theatre received a Tony® Honors for Excellence award in 2011, which is as close to a winner as some of these designers are going to get. The challenge for them this week is to create a modern runway look for a figure from literature. Each character is familiar to all (some might say iconic, and that would be, in a very rare instance, using the word correctly), but the designers have to use their original backstories as inspiration, rather than what they know of them via pop culture. Or Disney movies. Rather than choosing their characters from the Button Bag of Doom, the competitors receive assignments from Laura Michelle Kelly of the hit Broadway musical Finding Neverland.

Her eyebrows also appear to have been drawn on with a Sharpie.

Last week's winner, Dom, is given Tinkerbell, Sam gets the Little Mermaid, Kini gets Alice, Asha is assigned Repunzel, Emily gets the Snow Queen, Ken gets Snow White, Layana gets Belle, and Alexander gets Cinderella. Why are they all, apart from Alice, fairy tale characters? Not quite "literature" in the way I think of it, unless I am considering children's books. Of course queens and princesses are in vogue these days, what with the popularity of movies like Snow White and the Huntsman and those tacky soap-opera-y dramas like ABC's Once Upon a Time (Dynasty with green makeup and pointy hats instead of shoulder pads), and RuPaul's Drag Race. Of course it's all property of Disney--Lifetime, ABC, and every character in the challenge (but not RuPaul).

Methinks, had the challenge involved actual characters from actual literature, like Madame Bovary, Anna Karenina, Hester Prynne, Scout Finch, Miss Havisham, Daisy Buchanan, Lady Chatterly, Holly Golightly, it could have been more interesting. Save the Disney princesses for Project Runway Junior. But, that's just my opinion. I'm not a TV show producer, so what do I know?

The designers then walk the three blocks to Mood, where they sketch and spend $200 on fabrics.

Once they get back to the workroom, we get a clear view of Asha's fingernails. How on earth does she do anything with those claws? And I mean anything. Talons like those are only good for one thing--clawing out the eyes of competitors.

Speaking of that, Kini and Sam should each get a set and go at it. Yes, once again they are bickering like children. It's getting really tiresome.

While eating lunch, Ken remarks that there should only be six of them left, rather than eight. Kini then says that Sam is the only one left standing of the four designers saved in the two non-elimination episodes. "Bye girl!" he adds, hopefully. Sam reminds him that he's won two challenges to Kini's none. Kini in turn points out that he won "three challenges on Project Runway," a not-so-subtle dig at the apparent inferiority of Under the Gunn (I must confess I watched only two episodes because, despite my affection for Tim Gunn, I found it to be clearly inferior, at least as far as entertainment value is concerned). The bickering goes on for a few more minutes, is relieved briefly by a commercial break, and then starts up again. Ken continues to stir the pot by pretending that he didn't know that Kini made the top for Sam's jumpsuit back in episode 3. "The one that Sam was on top for," Kini seethes.

Please. Can we make this bullshit stop? It's not entertaining. Yes, Sam should have been eliminated in the nudist episode. Yes, he should have admitted to the judges that Kini made that top for him (and finished his pants). He was on a highly-rated team so the admission wouldn't have hurt him (except perhaps his ego). But Kini should really take the high road here.

Zanna time. I imagine she's trying to look all fairy-tale-y, but she just looks like she's wearing a nightie from the Little House on the Polish Prairie collection. She goes around the room bestowing her personal brand of tough love on all the designers, telling Dom her patchwork of patterns doesn't look particularly Tinkerbell, that she's seen Layana's look from her before, and that an important aspect of the Little Mermaid story was that she found her legs, so Sam should consider that. In other words, pants might be a good idea.

Why she doesn't point out to Alexander that his heavy oxblood fabric and fishtail silhouette isn't particularly Cinderella, I don't know. She does suggest that he do something about the length, but that isn't going to be enough.

The next day, the designers finish up and send their pretty pretty princesses to hair and makeup and accessorize with items from the Atrocious Jewelry and Shoe Collections. Runway time!

This week's judges include stylist Brad Goreski and singer Kesha. What either of them have to do with literary characters or Disney is beyond me. And what happened to the Woman With Three First Names from the opening? Did the weight of the black goop on her eyelids render her incapable of showing up for the runway show?

Oh, and Alyssa looks great. Slightly nightgown-y (a theme this week?) but sparkly and pretty flattering.

Brad, on the other hand, looks like he's paying homage to the great game show hosts of the 70s.

I feel that this week's runway show is unremarkable, but not bad overall.

Ken and Emily are safe. Asha, Kini, and Dom are on the top. Sam, Layana, and Alexander are on the bottom.

Once again, Dom delivers. Her Tinkerbell is hip and modern, with a back treatment that suggests wings in two different ways, and she has cleverly styled her model's hair to resemble the Disney version of the character. A big win in my book.

When I saw Kini working on his piece, I immediately thought sea slug. And lest you think that is an insult, take a gander at the beauty of these little creatures with the unappealing name and tell me I'm wrong.

The judges praise his "business in the front, party in the back" look, aka a "fashion mullet." The demure collar and white socks definitely put one in mind of a young girl like Alice, but I'm not sure what the ruffles represent. Fantasy perhaps, or things not being quite what they seem. Kini did mention Alice's rebellious nature to Zanna, but ruffles don't exactly scream "rebellion."

It would have been nice had the designers been given more time to explain themselves (to the home audience) rather than spending so much precious time on previews for Kini v. Sam: Dawn of Douchiness.

Then we have Asha's representation of Rapunzel, which I do not get at all. She told Zanna that her look is "tongue in cheek," but I'm not sure whose tongue is in whose (or which) cheek. Asha says it's a jumpsuit with a detachable skirt, but it looks more like a hi-low dress with skinny pants. The back of the dress is gorgeous, but the front bothers me. The peplum seems too heavy to me. The sandals are awful, but Isaac likes them. Isaac also loves the neckline, which he says is one of the best they've ever seen (yet Valerie went home last week after giving them a similar neckline). The judges then segue into a somewhat surreal conversation about breasts with Isaac declaring that nobody loves boobs more than him, and Alyssa chiming in about her own love of boobies.

TMI, folks.

I'd love to see the version of Rapunzel that Asha was given to read. In typical Brothers Grimm fashion, the tale is not exactly all unicorns farting rainbows. It starts out with her mother craving a particular vegetable that happens to be growing in the garden of a witch. When the witch catches her pilfering her plants, she claims the woman's newborn as punishment. When the child, Rapunzel, hits puberty, the witch locks her away in a tower with a single window at the top, only reachable by a cherry picker, which hadn't yet been invented. Luckily, the kid's hair is long enough to reach the ground when hung out the window and the witch (obviously pretty spry and not afraid of heights) can climb it like a ladder. As can the handsome prince who happens to wander by and hear Rapunzel singing. Rapunzel agrees to marry the prince if he brings her a skein of silk every time he visits so she can make a ladder for her own escape. Which he does, only the witch spots it all going down. She cuts off Rapunzel's braids and banishes her into the desert. When the prince visits the next time, he finds witchipoo waiting for him. He jumps from the tower to escape, landing in a bush that scratches out his eyes and leaves him blind. He wanders about, eventually wandering into the same desert that is now home to Rapunzel. Her tears of joy return his sight and they escape to his kingdom where they live "happily ever after."

There are no details of her life in the kingdom, so where Asha is getting her ideas from is beyond me. For the vast majority of her story, Rapunzel is not a princess, but a captive. A modern prison jumpsuit might have been more appropriate here.

Sam is on the bottom this week. Again. While I can understand why he used net fabric for his look (although mermaids are probably not particularly fond of nets), it's really cheap and has an arts-and-crafts project feel to it. The sleeves appear somewhat uneven, and it's a crop top and pencil skirt, for god's sake. While that's a bit more original than, say, a mermaid skirt, it's certainly not a winning look by a long shot.

Layana's character is Belle, from Beauty and the Beast. Apparently, Belle's dear husband, the Prince who was once a Beast, is taking her to Argentina to see a polo match, and this is the rag she chose to wear for the occasion. She made a pretty dress, if one likes headache-inducing yellow (as she clearly does). Coincidentally, it's the same color as Kesha's hair.

Did I miss something? Were the designers told to envision life after the fairy tale? The challenge was to create a modern look, not to modernize the story. How would Belle and her man get from France to Argentina? Did they have polo in the 18th century?

On to Alexander's Evil Queen. Wait. he was assigned Cinderella, though there's absolutely nothing about this look that says Cinderella. Unless his line of thinking was something like this: Cinderella became a princess>Diana Spencer became a princess>this was something Princess Diana would have worn. But dude, she's been dead for almost 20 years, so not even modern. The whole skirt fishtail thing was awful, and as one of the judges pointed out, looks to have been safety-pinned onto the garment. The dress managed to be "too bridesmaid," "too old," and "too beauty pageant," all at the same time. Hey, but versatility, right?!

The verdict: Asha, who has coasted by in the middle of the pack all season, got the win, and Alexander, who with his costume background could have had this particular challenge in the bag, got sent home.

This week's rant: It seems to me that the real focus of the show has been lost this season. We are reminded on the non-All Stars version of the show that it's a design competition, first and foremost. It's not Project Seamstress. Unlike the early seasons of the show when only about half the designers knew anything about sewing or construction, these later contestants are fairly skilled in that department. The focus is and should be on design ability. But so many things we've seen this season are things we've seen before, on other runways and in stores. Why the judges don't seem to be emphasizing design skills is beyond me. Perhaps it's because Isaac gave up design himself ages ago, and the garments that are currently associated with his name are mass-produced rags purchased by QVC viewers of a certain age. Georgina's Marchesa line has a bit more design to it, but a whole lot of it involves a familiar silhouette with a shitload of flowers and lace sewn to it.

What this season needs is a lot more innovation and a lot less bitching (but not from me).
[/end rant]

Next week: more bitching, this time with Ken involved.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com
Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!