Project Runway Recap - Season 16, Episode 4

Sorry that this recap is so late - I made a quick trip to NYC to see a couple of shows for New York Fashion Week. While the big Project Runway finale show wasn't one of them, I did get to see the team up between Mychael Knight and Korto Momolu. More on that in a separate post.

Episode 4 begins with Heidi and Tim strapping on backpacks to introduce the next challenge. Heidi is wearing the same black floral minidress she was wearing for the runway show in Episode 3, so I can only assume that this intro bit was filmed immediately thereafter. Otherwise, Heidi should have had time do something more interesting with her hair. This week's challenge is to design sleepwear for Heidi Klum Intimates new line of sexy pjs using textiles that the contestants create themselves by hand. Why the designers are always excited about the Heidi challenge are beyond me. For one thing, she's getting free labor. For another, the design is offered for a limited time. The PR designs are always much more interesting and intricate than the usual basic stuff that Heidi offers, so the production costs are likely higher. But she can only charge so much for the piece, because the price point should fit with the rest of her line. So if she's not making $$$, there's no point in putting the winning design into real production. And of course none of that cash is going to the person who designed the garment. Does anyone actually remember the winner of any of the previous Heidi challenges? Was it a launching pad to their success?

The way some designers react to things, I have to wonder if they've ever watched Project Runway in the past. Why are they always surprised that the very first challenge of the season starts within minutes of all the designers meeting for the first time? Why are most of them shocked and dismayed at team challenges, or unconventional materials challenges, or any challenge at all that is somewhat...challenging? Or are they directed to feign surprise/shock/dyspepsia?

Sorry for my aside (though you should be used to them by now)...back to the show. The inspiration for today's Heidi Klum Intimates challenge is to be found at the Empire State Building, where the designers will be spending the night. The backpacks that were distributed by Heidi and Tim contained rather sheer (cheap? Heidi Klum collection?) pajamas and a dossier of each designer's new model.

The designers are shown parading down 5th Avenue to the iconic Art Deco building while wearing their matching jammies. Ya know, I've been to NY dozens of times, and recently have been staying at hotels very close to the Empire State Building, but I've never been in it. Certainly not while in my jammies. I suppose I should rectify that situation at some point, but the $34 dollars it costs to ride the elevator to the top could buy a nice dinner, even in New York.

The Annoying Twins are freaking out over the idea of sleeping on the top of the Empire State Building. OMG! It's so high! Good thing they're only sleeping on the 86th floor, because being up on the top floor--the 103rd--would probably cause heart attacks. Lucky for them, there's no room for that sort of nonsense all the way up there.

The designers get a few minutes to sketch before sleepy-bye time. Kenya wants to do a romper using the motifs found in the ceilings of the ESB, but she's worried that she's never decorated fabric before. Michael is inspired by the Chrysler Building, which isn't the same as being inspired by the ESB, but it's part of the view so I suppose it counts. Kentaro was dinged for using black last week so he's vowing to decorate his maxi dress with neon colors.

Early the next morning, the designers are awakened by Tim, bearing paper sacks of breakfast sandwiches. Did they come from the Panera in the next block, or the Maison Keyser a couple blocks north? Were they still warm after the 86-floor elevator ride? Did Tim have to pay the $34? Inquiring minds need to know. I also would like to know how much bird poop they had to scrape off those sleeping bags by morning.

After breakfast, the designers head to the studio. They will have fabrics chosen by Heidi to work with, so a trip to Mood to visit Swatch is not in order. Besides working on patterns for their garments, the designers need to get started on fabric decoration as early as possible, in order for things to dry thoroughly. There are lots of paint items available, plus tools with which to make stencils and stamps--even potatoes. Good to know those elementary school art classes won't have been for naught!

The models have been switched for everyone again this week; Kentaro gets to work with one of the plus-sized gals. Rather than panic, he seeks fit advice from the two larger ladies in the cast, Samantha and Kenya. Samantha is shown suggesting how the armhole should fit so there's not too much side boob or cleavage, which is very kind of her. She understands that they can help each other out yet still be in competition. Kinda the way the Annoying Twins work, only not annoying.

Heidi comes in pretty early in the day to demoralize the group. She suggests that the Annoying Twins, who have been running around and chattering with each other all morning do more work and less talking. Heidi thinks Hairy's design might be a bit too basic. She's also not getting Baldie's desire to make a jumpsuit, because women have to go to the bathroom frequently during the night. If it takes too long to disrobe, a woman could pee herself. I have one suggestion: trap door.

Deyonté is doing something with wide mitered stripes that Heidi suggests could be a clown costume. Ouch. Also the angle of the stripes point directly to the vajayjay, which is always a no-no in Heidi's book. Kenya, who is struggling, is working on a piece that doesn't look like it could be sleepwear. It's too fitted and has no ease. Amy wants to put the NY skyline on the rear end of a pair of panties, which gets a no vote from both Heidi and Tim. Ayana's look is daringly sheer. She says there's no need to do a modest look for something that's only worn indoors.

After Heidi leaves and the designers stop crying in despair, they rework what needs to be reworked. Then the models come in for their fitting, which causes more reworking. Finally everybody gets to go sleep in their own pajamas in their own beds.

The next day, everyone is sent to the Cosmetics Your Mother Used to Sell Because Your Father Wouldn't Let Her Get a Job Outside the Home makeup studio and the Comb-overs by Donald Trump hair salon. Tim also advises them all to use the JC Penney accessory wall not the usual "thoughtfully," but "carefully." Or maybe not at all because isn't this a sleepwear challenge? Personally, I don't feel the need to accessorize the over-sized Orioles t-shirt I wear to bed, but perhaps I am missing out on a new trend. A new trend that I really don't care about.

Demi Lovato is guest judge this week. Apparently she's also a fashion designer because she's got a line of sports bras and leggings with Fabletics, a sports bra and leggings company owned by Kate Hudson. Hadn't sports bras and leggings already been designed decades ago? How does having her name on these things make Demi Lovato (or Kate Hudson) a fashion designer? Most importantly, I must ask WHY THESE THINGS ARE CONSIDERED FASHION?

The runway show is pretty decent. Well, it certainly could be worse. Pink-haired John Lennon, Kentaro, Michael, Deyonté, Baldie, and Kenya are pulled out of the line up while the rest are declared safe. The judges start on Michael's look, which is really stunning. They compliment the unique neckline, unusual strap placement, and Chrysler Building-inspired decoration on the bodice. They think this "Deco Cleopatra" look  is sexy, sophisticated, and expensive-looking.

Zac appreciates that Pink-haired John Lennon is wearing tighty whities under his frilly sheer yellow bloomers. As are we all. Heidi loves the print he created on his fabric, but the top is shabbily constructed and the shorts (not just the ones he's wearing) are not flattering.

Baldie's jumpsuit with a silver-on-silver print is really pretty nice, considering she made it. The judges used a lot of the same adjectives that they used for Michael: sophisticated, sexy, elegant. They also thought it could be worn out on the town with heels and a leather jacket.

Deyonté's look didn't seem like sleepwear to the judges The shape was "nothing," boring, and not sexy. It was definitely not flattering. He had a plus-sized model this week and he took an Omar the Tentmaker approach with his baggy pieces. And who wears a top and a long skirt to bed? A skirt? Really? And this man has slept with women before!

Kentaro also had a plus-sized model, but his flowy gown was obviously sleepwear and obviously gorgeous. Samantha had given him good advice about the placement of the straps and armholes (she could have taken the opportunity to sabotage him, but I have a feeling that she's just a really nice person) and the end result was adorable and charming, fresh, quiet, modern, ambitious, and happy.

Kenya clearly struggled through the entire challenge, which was disappointing. I think she's super talented and she's one of the designers I want to see in the finale. Heidi said she would pee her pants before being able to undo the hook-and-eye closure on Kenya's short jumpsuit. (Heidi must have a tiny bladder.) Kenya cries a little. Zac tries to be nice by praising the colors she used, though it really was kind of a hot mess.

Michael is declared the winner of this challenge. You can buy Michael's winning design at Heidi Klum Intimates.

Deyonté is out. He really looked to have some great potential after winning the first challenge of the season, but fizzled out pretty quickly after that. Too bad - I liked him.

Next week, the designers go on a road trip to a fancy house, but they don't get to sleep there.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com Because of past content theft, I am forced to add this statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere other than the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

Project Runway All Stars Season Five Episode Ten, or, Everybody Smoked Crack This Week

I'm not feeling this week's episode. It annoyed me, and I'm tired (it's been a stressful week). Despite the presence of two of my favorite PR designers, Dom and Kini, I am finding this season of PRAS to be altogether lackluster and repetitive. While Dom has been cranking out great stuff every week, she's barely being recognized. Kini's done some good stuff, but he's too busy rolling his eyes at Sam to reach his true potential. And I'm starting to feel that this season is being manipulated so that Sam gets the win at the end. Not that he's a bad designer, not by a long shot. I just don't think he's shown anything this season that's good enough for a $100,000 grand prize. I hope I'm wrong, because I don't want to end this season angry, as I was at the end of PR Season 8, when Gretchen won. Gretchen. Still makes me grind my teeth when I think about it.

On with the whining.

This week, the designers are back at their normal beginning-of-the-show meeting spot - the runway. Alyssa comes in wearing black pants and a red jacket and she looks...amazing. And in a good way.

I'm so busy being shocked at Alyssa's transformation that I almost miss the name and organization of her special guest presenter, Yvonne Niami. Niami is a philanthropist, which means she gives money away to good causes. She is so philanthropic, in fact, she founded a company called n:philanthropy (which I can't help but want to call "En Colon Philanthropy" because punctuation + the lack of capital letters is pretentious) to remind everyone about her super-philanthropic-ness. With its creative director, Alexandre Caugant, the company produces "apparel with a purpose/fashion with a mission." (It also appears to be "athleisure" wear.) Ten percent of the net proceeds of En Colon Philanthropie (spelling change in honor of the French dude) go to pediatric cancer research and animal welfare. Ten whole percent. I've never found 10% to be an incentive to buy anything, sales included. It's a mere one out of every ten dollars, and a dollar doesn't go all that far, particularly when it comes to medicine. I'd rather give money directly to an organization; you can keep the $128 shrunken sweatshirts and $70 distressed "BFF t-shirts." "But," you sputter, "$12.80 cents of that sweatshirt goes to Children's Hospital Los Angeles!" Nope. That would be 10% of gross earnings. This is net, which means after expenses and taxes and all the other expenditures that come with running a business. We have no idea how much really goes to help others without seeing their financial paperwork. (Stuff to keep in mind before you donate to any charity: how much do the people who need it really get? If not a lot, then find someplace else to give.)

So the challenge this week is to make something that fits a lot of random adjectives: modern, sophisticated, and badass. The designers need to create something fashion forward for summer, to be worn by a "rebel with a cause." Everyone pretends to be excited, but you know they're all just exhausted by this point. I know I am. (Being marginally clever is hard work.) And the winner of the challenge gets to design a look for En Colon Philanthropie's summer line. All the profits from this look go to Children's Hospital LA, so at least that's something (in other words, you can feel good about buying the winner's collaboration).

The designers head off to sketch and shop at Mood, where the budget is $250. Ken and Asha both say that the sophisticated badass woman is just the person for each of their aesthetics. Josephine Baker is Asha's ideal "rebel with a cause," so why does she choose to work with the abstract patterned fabric that Peytie used in the last two episodes of Project Runway Junior? It doesn't exactly scream "talented and exotic dancer who made her mark in France because her home country of the US didn't get her, never depended on a man for financial support, did undercover work for the French during WW II and was a sub-lieutenant in the Women's Auxiliary Air Force,  adopted 12 children of different ethnicities (eat your heart out, Angelina Jolie), and received a 21-gun salute at her Paris funeral before being buried in Morocco." But whatever. Details.

Kini buys some crazy-ass acid yellow and silver lamé/damask fabric (we'll call it "lameassk"). Fabric choices have certainly been out there this season.


Dom chooses various metallic fabrics and lamé, because, you know, it needs to be a summer look. "Summer" is the only thing that Sam heard, so he buys seersucker.

Back at the workroom, Sam tells us he's making--surprise!--a jumpsuit. I know when it's summer and I'm sweaty and gross, I definitely want to struggle with taking off a jumpsuit when I have to pee. Actually, that's true any time of year. Jumpsuits, and their sassy cousin, the romper, might look cool, but they are not practical unless you have a catheter, in which case they need to have wide legs. And, to me, seersucker screams "pretentious yuppie in a straw hat," or maybe "railroad worker." Sam admits that it's easy to make black look badass, but that one would need to "design the hell" out of pretentious yuppie/railroad worker fabric to achieve the same result. So why make the challenge even more challenging?

In the sewing room, Sam blurts out "Mommy wants me to wear one of her old suits; I'll show her." We're going to assume that he's speaking in the voice of the woman he's designing for, some child (or pretentious yuppie) that still calls her mother "Mommy" and has some sewing skills. As if "Mommy" even had a seersucker suit. Dom is in the room with him at the time and tells us the he must design for 15-year-olds.

 Somebody has to design for 15-year-olds, I suppose.

Zanna comes in for her weekly chat, and brings Yvonne Niami with her. Niami is wearing an En Colon Philanthropie pleather dress with long fringes. Trashbag Chic. They start with Emily's "rework of a power suit," and suggest that she might be doing too many things, what with a hand-painted vest, voluminous print pants, etc. Emily decides to crop her pants to keep things more summery. Asha's look, which not only involves Peytie's fabric but also lots of semi bondage-esque straps, seems to read fall-winter (but it doesn't, really, they just need something mean to say). Dom's silver and black dress is also not particularly summery, and maybe a bit too sophisticated, without that "Dom edge."

Zanna calls Kini's crazy yellow genie pants with sorta matching yellow tweed jacket a "disco banana" (pronounced buh-nohh-nohh) and says it needs to look more "sophisticated call girl." Or maybe she said sophisticated cool girl.

Sam's jumpsuit look is "safe" and "Hampton's," which I suppose they meant as an insult, but considering that people who go to the Hampton's will probably be the ones buying this stuff, it's actually not.

Sam doesn't want to send "safe" and "boring" down the runway, so he decides to take his jumpsuit apart with two hours left in the day and start over. Doesn't he do this every other week? He's switching to a spin on a "rock and roll tuxedo." Unfortunately, he's still using seersucker, a fabric that Kini associates with babies. Pretentious yuppie babies that work on the railroad.

After the "disco banana" comment, Kini decides to dip dye his yellow jacket with black. I couldn't help but think, as he slipped on a black rubber glove, of OJ Simpson. And nobody wants to think of OJ Simpson.

And the black dye? Not an improvement. In fact, it might make things even worse. Sam says Kini's look is "more drag queen than badass," and that the "weird iguana genie pants" makes his model's ass look "3 feet wide." But Sam is using seersucker. SEER-SUCK-ER. So he shouldn't really talk.

Ken, who thinks his pants are "faboluss," is having a problem with the top. He's using an orange-y fabric not all that different in hue from the neoprene he was stuck with in that awkward fabric-switching challenge a few weeks ago, but he just can't make it do what he wants. Not that he knows what he wants. He thinks it looks cheap and ugly, and last time he did ugly, he went home. Dun dun DUN!

On to the BJs Wholesale Warehouse Hair and Makeup Studios, where we hear the show's resident makeup guru, Scott Patric, say the strange but somehow magical words "gelato swirl illuminator in ballerina." What can it mean?

After makeup and still without a proper top, Ken grabs some of the white fabric he used for the pants and whips up a halter in the five minutes they have before heading out to the runway. It's pretty, but it's not anything we haven't already seen. In the 1970s.

Speaking of 1970s, Dom's cranked out something that would make Bob Mackie and Cher proud. So much lamé and silver. So over-embellished. In fact, it reminds me of the "fortune teller" costume that I had for my Cher doll in the 70s (see below).

On to the runway!

After doing so well in her first appearance, Alyssa has slipped from "looking great" to full on crazy. She looks dumpy and neckless, even a little bit...fat. The wide expanse of black fabric across her ample bosom is simply unflattering. While the getup she's wearing might be fine on a 6'1" model with a long bony neck, on someone 5'2", it looks costume-y. Like a Princess Leia reject.

She introduces this week's guest judges, actress and star of Cooking Channel's Extra Virgin, Debi Mazar, and regular PR judge, fashion designer, and brooch-wearer, Zac Posen.

The runway show is unspectacular. And short, as there are only six designers left.

Emily's look is terrific. Not sure that culottes are "badass" but the overall look works with all of the adjectives assigned at the beginning of the challenge. Everybody loves it, but Isaac doesn't get parts of it. When they were back in the workroom, Ken wondered, admiringly, how the various shapes in Emily's designs come to her head. Some people are just unconventional thinkers, which may or may not make them better artists.

Kini wisely decides to leave the ugly yellow and black jacket in the workroom. His pants are quite enough, thank you.  He gets mixed reactions, from a "kooky 50s throwback" to "summery, edgy, and ballsy." Georgina is perplexed. Somehow he's on the top.

Sam's jumpsuit is just...odd. Zac doesn't love it, and Alyssa doesn't equate seersucker with "badass" (of course not) but the other three judges seem pleased. Even though there's something very "Baby Bjorn" to it, only missing the baby. The pants fit very well, but I have to hope there's a side zipper going on somewhere, otherwise how does this thing come on and off? And there's definitely no place to hide a catheter.

Bob Mackie's Dom's look isn't summery at all, and the slit is too high. It is badass, and definitely Dom, what with all the embroidery and various fabrics and quilting. Had the challenge been anything else (create a modern interpretation of a baked potato; create something for a Kardashian to wear to the movies; create something for Cher! The Musical), it might have won. As it was, Dom ended up on the bottom.

Ken's "faboluss" pants were neither badass nor fashion forward. Isaac thought they were too long, which they are. Ken got mouthy and said that his model walked just fine, but that's not the point. They are too long. If the top of the cuff is dragging on the ground, they Are. Too. Long.

Asha's Peytie Bondage dress was also on the bottom. It's really not a bad design, but it's poorly made. The straps are all weird, and the fabric is too stiff for the cut of the skirt. It's vaguely badass, and I don't think it's un-summery. Debi Mazar thinks it's dated and something Sylvester Stallone's second ex-wife Brigitte Nielsen might have worn. Which makes it 100% not Josephine Baker-esque.

Emily gets the win, as the only person in my mind who should have been on top in this challenge. Now she gets to design an inside-out cropped sweatshirt or a plain white T for En Colon Philanthropie. (Woo f-ing hoo, but remember,...100% for cancer research.) I think Ken should have been put out of our misery this week. It's clear that he's sick and tired of holding it together by this point (his big smiles at Zanna and Yvonne during the critique seemed painfully fake). But he gets to stay on, and Asha is kicked to the curb. I don't think she deserved to go, but as Kini opined in the green room, even good designers are eliminated at this point.

Next week: Boy George! And someone is sure to make a jumpsuit.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com
Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

Project Runway All Stars Season 5 Episode 3

One of Alyssa's looks this week didn't make me shake my head. Not this one.

She's wearing a Hefty bag, or at least a dress made from a shiny, garbage bag-like material. Maybe it's leather, but maybe it's not. She brings out four other people to join her on the runway, two male and two female. They are Little Big Town, country music performers who have apparently won four Country Music Awards, a Grammy, and an Emmy--a Daytime Emmy for Outstanding Original Song, which puts them in the same category as Sesame Street (only Sesame Street is more entertaining, IMHO). In any case, the band has one fuzzy-headed blonde and one straight-haired brunette, plus two dudes that we don't really care about for this challenge. The blonde and brunette are opposites, see? Not really, both are about the same height, weight, and age. But the brunette, Karen, is apparently more rock and roll. I guess that makes the blonde more country, even though, you know, um, they're both country singers.

Because the girls are so vastly different, like Donny and Marie, the challenge posed to the designers is to create red carpet looks that represent a dichotomy. Oh, and they have to do it in pairs, which of course is a whole 'nother challenge unto itself. Right away Ken is bitching about not wanting to work in teams. Yeah, yeah, we know - you're not here to make friends. Gotcha.

Sam won last week's challenge, so he's tasked with matching everyone up. He chooses Kini for himself, because, as he so succinctly phrases it, "I'm not stupid." Kini is the best seamster in the group, and he works fast. Plus, he's not a bitch, so if Sam needs help, Kini is there to assist. Sam also pairs Asha and Alexander, Layanna and Emily, Ken and Dom, Valerie and Stella. Daniel and Mitchell are left (why they are even still around at all is a mystery), so they are stuck with each other, much to Mitch's chagrin. Each pair gets $600 to spend at Mood between them, which seems generous.

In the workroom, Daniel is trying to school Mitchell, who, admittedly, needs some help. But Daniel isn't exactly the best role model for Project Runway contestants. Grumpy Mitchell needs to get some air, otherwise he'll have a hissy fit meltdown right there on the spot. Daniel's not exactly wrong, is he? Even Zanna agrees with him when he says he plans to help Mitch with editing his look.

Not only are Daniel and Mitchell not getting along, neither are Stella and Valerie. According to Sam--whose method of pairing involved picking designers whose personalities were different--Valerie is bubblegum and Stella is tar. Not so much opposites, as both are pretty difficult to scrape off the bottom of one's shoe.

He also says Layanna is "super couture" and Emily is more street. But how are the others so opposite? Ken is bitchy and Dom is nice? I suppose Asha and Alexander's opposition occurs in the obvious female/male, straight/gay, and black/white categories. They do have a similarity: neither are particularly strong in the eyebrow department, but at least Asha has them.

Meanwhile, Sam and Kini are pretty satisfied with their designs until Zanna tells them she's worried. Sam's seems sort of current, but Kini's is from the 90s. They are such different looks, and not in a good way. Kini's solution is to feminize Sam's top by adding a tulle tornado of an overblouse. He's worried that if Sam's look isn't up to snuff, they'll be on the bottom, so he also takes charge of Sam's pants, as Sam doesn't seem to know how to finish them. Kini puts in the zipper and hook-and-eye closures and makes sure the side seams are aligned properly and the waistband is fixed. But Kini doesn't seem to do anything to make his own gown less "90's" and more now, which might become an issue later.

Valerie introduces Stella's look to Zanna by saying her girl "would cut someone if they got in the way." Stella takes umbrage.

Zanna thinks Val's look might come from a bridal store, while Stella's would be from an S&M shop. Stella once again disagrees. She seems very touchy this season. And why on earth did she buy black vinyl tablecloth fabric for her dress? Was she inspired by Alyssa's opening look?

Over on the other side of the room, we hear not a word from Dom and Ken, who seem to be getting along just fine. Ken offers up the opinion that Mitchell's girl looks like she got caught in some 80-year-old's trash. I have to agree.


The next day, as the designers are attempting to get things finished, Stella and Valerie skirmish over the proper way to make a belt. Val is being helpful, and Stella is just abrasive. I had always felt that she was completely loveable, despite her spiky-ness, but something has changed in the years since her last appearance on Project Runway. She also doesn't seem to like when Valerie takes control over the girls at the Hair Club for Women and Obscure Make-up Line Studios, where she tells the makeup and hair people that hers is Grace Kelly but Stella's is Joan Crawford. Of course, Stella may be thinking of Crazy Eyebrows, Crazy Lips Joan, whereas Valerie was probably just thinking of a good contrast for Grace Kelly.

After all the models go through hair and makeup and designers ransack the Christian Siriano for Payless Shoes and Heidi Klum Plagiarized Jewelry Collections, the models are sent down the runway.

Alyssa, wearing something black once again, looks pretty decent this time. Her outfit is generic, but at least it's not cray-cray.

Karen Fairchild and Kimberly Schlapman have jettisoned the male members of Little Big Town and are sitting in judgement along with Iconic Fashion Designer Isaac Mizrahi and Mrs Weinstein.

Daniel and Mitchell's dichotomy is pleasure and pain. But there is only gross discomfort present on the runway. Daniel's model is showing underboob, sideboob, and everything else. Presumably his look is pain, however, Mitchell's old lady nightgown hurts my eyeballs.

They are predictably on the bottom, along with Stella and Valerie. Valerie's look is actually great, and Stella's would be, too, had she not used that hideous fabric. Perhaps if it had been less cooch-tastic and if she had lined the inside of the skirt, it would have worked better.

Personally, I think Emily and Layana should have been on the bottom. Layana's dress had this weird puckering thing going on around her model's ass, and Emily's pants were awful. Stella's dress, while the fabric was terrible, was nicely made. And certainly she and Valerie's theme of Naughty and Nice worked better than Emily and Layana's Bride and Groom (are they really opposites?)

On top are Asha and Alexander, Sam and Kini.

Alyssa says that Sam's look is possibly her favorite look of all the challenges in the three years that she has been hosting All Stars, although she doesn't think it's red carpet appropriate. Kini is doing a slow burn.

Nobody says that Kini's looks like it came out of the 90s, but they note that it's not exactly flattering when not in motion.

Asha and Alexander not only did the whole opposites theme right--Light and Dark--but they styled their models to look similar to the girls from Little Big Town. I think the big bushy curls on Asha's model, mirroring those of Kimberly Schlapman, probably helped work some subliminal magic on the judges.

The Tops are sent back offstage and the Bottoms are brought out to talk about their ugly rags. It's pretty obvious that nobody really hates Stella's and Valerie's looks, so nobody will be going home from that team. And then they get to Daniel and Mitchell.

Mitchell makes Daniel talk about the looks first, saying that they were his idea. Daniel, who is clueless that he's being gently nudged toward the oncoming large multi-passenger motor vehicle, says his look is edgy and would be great on the red carpet. The female judges look slightly uncomfortable at the thought of showing off their knickers. Isaac says there is "something objectifying about it, and not in a good way." As if objectifying something can ever be done in a good way.

I just love Isaac's expression here.

Georgina defends Daniel's look, saying she loved the lines of the top, and had the skirt been lined to the ground, it would have been "sophisticated and elegant." They agree that the leather lace fabric he used is quite nice.

And then they get to Mitchell. It seems to me that Alyssa and Georgina are tiptoeing around him with compliments; they say things like "great ideas, incredibly creative," and "an artist." Isaac says his mind "is full of light, as opposed to darkness." It's a bit placating. If you look at his portfolio on the Lifetime site, there are just some short dresses in a stretchy material. Nothing particularly creative about any of them. Dunno. But the dress he made for this challenge is simply awful. The shiny pink skirt fabric looks cheap, there doesn't seem to be any real design behind the overskirt (done in another shade of pink that doesn't seem to go), and the feathers attached to the print fabric on the bodice just seem a bit crazy.

But Daniel is out.  Because his look was "disrespectful" and showed too much skin. Tell these ladies.

I think the producers had total control of the result of this contest. They may even have been feeding lines to the judges. Daniel is boring, but Mitchell brings the drama. Who would they rather keep on board?

Asha and Alexander are the winners, which of course they did completely deserve (although I thought Alexander's look was just slightly underwhelming) and their looks will be worn at the upcoming Academy of Country Music Awards. Probably altered and over-styled, but we'll see.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com
Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

Project Runway All Stars Season 5

Project Runway All Stars started up last week. Normally I really look forward to this show, revisiting former contestants to see if any of them have improved, talent-wise. But after watching Project Runway Junior, with all of those lovely, well-behaved, smart, kind, and ego-free teens, I'm not sure I have the stomach for the "grown-up" version just yet.

(So why am I here? I'm trying to get this blog started again, and figured a good way would be to do a recap or three. I may not have time to get to every episode, and I might well get bored halfway through, but bear with me, folks.)

The show starts up with the various contestants getting out of various vehicles of conveyance (ok, mostly feet, some escalators) and greeting the designers from their own seasons. From Season 13, we have blue-haired Emily Payne, everyone's favorite Troll doll Kini Zamora, East German escapee Fäde zu Grau, and Mitchell Perry. Season 12 gives us Alexander Pope, he of no eyebrows, whose formerly Bozo orange hair is now white. He's joined by supreme Drama Queen Ken Laurence, who, shall we say, was not Mr Pope's bestest buddy. Dom Streater, the ultimate winner of Season 12 and one of my favorite all-time PR contestants, rounds out that season for us. Then there are two folks from the short-lived Under the Gunn (which always sounded like a low-budget gay porn movie to me), Asha Daniels and Sam Donovan. They cling to each other like lifeboats. Never having seen their show, I have no idea if either of them possess any talent, but that's never been the most important qualification for getting on TV. The annoying Layana Aguilar from the equally annoying "teams" season of Project Runway (11), Valerie Mayen from season 8, and good old Stella "Leathuh" Zotis from season 5 complete the cast. No, wait, there's one more. Daniel fucking Franco, two time loser from seasons 1 and 2, back for more torture. Not that he's a bad designer, by any stretch of the imagination. He's just not a good competitor. Obviously.

Once the designers have met and mingled, they meet host Alyssa Milano at the Hudson Hotel (a nightmarish place to stay if you're not spry, 20-something, and have good night vision). She must have a couple of pounds of baby weight to lose, otherwise why would producers punish her with such a frumpy, mumsy, outfit: high-waisted gaucho pants and a bow-neck blouse that looked to come straight out of Judith Light's Who's the Boss wardrobe.

Alyssa then lays the first challenge on the designers. They are to create something inspired by the moment they realized they were destined to become a designer. (For some, it could be their first poopy diaper. For others, well, let's say, maybe one or two of them never had that moment.) They have a budget of $200 and they get to do their sketching at Mood.

So they sketch, they run around and buy fabric and grommets and whathaveyou, and head off to their new studio space to work. Within what seems like seconds, Daniel Franco has already cut himself. It's like he hasn't used scissors in the 10 years since the last time he was on the show.

Considering how well he does this week, he may not have picked up a needle and thread in a decade.

After a while, Zanna Roberts Rassi comes in to do the mentor thing. She's dressed slightly less-crazy and somewhat more age-appropriate than her usual get-ups. She says that she's not seeing a lot of inspiration in the designs in the room so far. Considering they're designing based on a rather abstract concept, "the moment they knew they would become a designer," what does she expect?

Before she leaves, Zanna adds a plug for the Cheap Pleather shoe wall and the Overpriced Costume Jewelry accessory wall.

Shortly, the designers take a few moments to say catty things about each others' work before herding their models off to Germanic Hair Care and Monica's and Ross' Unknown Sibling Cosmetics studio for consultations.

The next day, a bit more shade is thrown before the models are prettied and sent down to the runway. Alyssa is still on someone's shit list, possibly for breast-feeding in public, because she's wearing an unflattering gathered black one-sleeved dress made from rejected upholstery fabric.

Isaac Mizrahi and Georgina Chapman return as judges and are joined by guest judge Dmitry Sholokhov, who won season 4 of All Stars and PR season 10. 

This year, the judging is blind, or the judges will wish they were blind, or something like that. In any case, they aren't supposed to know whose designs are whose coming down the runway, unless they pay attention to who is high-fiving who among the designers, or actually watched any of the previous seasons. In other words, it's pretty obvious which designer did what, in many cases at least.

Come on. This is pure Dom. And I love it. So well made. Would love to see the dress underneath.

Dom, Sam, Stella, Kini, Alexander, Emily, and Fäde are safe. Layana, Ken, and Valerie are on the top; Asha, Mitchell, and Daniel are on the bottom.

Valerie's romper, which is really cute, gets the win, despite the judges' dislike of the jacket thingy. I still prefer Dom's look.

While Asha's dress is completely meh and something we've all seen many times before, she's not bad enough to get eliminated just yet, much to her little buddy Sam's relief. The other two, however....

Personally, I thought Mitchell's was hideous, and loved Alyssa's observation that one boob looked higher than the other. With that hair, the look was hippie on the top, bridal on the bottom, and it just didn't work. Daniel's coat would actually have been pretty nice, had he finished it. Even sleeveless, had the armholes not looked so ratty.

To save both designers the embarrassment of being the first eliminated, Daniel and Mitchell were allowed to stay for another week. Signs point to one or both of them eliminated in the not-too-distant future, however. There are several strong designers this season, and competition will be--to borrow a word from season 4 winner Christian Siriano--fierce.

Stay tuned. I'm not promising there will be other recaps; I had forgotten how much work this all is. But maybe.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com
Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!