2018 Grammy Awards

We don't watch the Grammys at Casa Minx. We listen to very little commercial music and don't really care about the Beyoncés and Rihanna's and especially not the Taylor Swifts of the world. Still, the red carpet portion of the program can be interesting. The clothes worn to the Grammys are usually quite a bit more outré than those worn to other awards ceremonies. And not always in a good way.

I think this year was not as fantastical as other years, but there's still a good selection of good, bad, and worse to critique.

All photos Getty Images.

Cyndi Lauper's cherub-printed Moschino suit has landed her on a few worst-dressed lists, but I love it on her. It's quirky, but not crazy, and it fits her perfectly.

Rita Ora was bringing back "old Hollywood glamour" in her black Ralph & Russo gown. I hate the deliberate "my roots are growing out" thing that so many people are doing with their hair, but sometimes it works. This isn't. But she's gorgeous otherwise.

Eve looked cool and classy in her Naeem Khan pantsuit, though it looks a bit heavy and uncomfortable to sit in. This look would be too much on most occasions, but perfect for the Grammys.

I loved Miley's Jean-Paul Gaultier catsuit. She looked both sexy and demure, even ladylike. Our little Miley is all growed up!

I haven't been able to find the designer of India Arie's shorts and duster combo, but I love it. It's bold, interesting, and in-your-face, without being tacky.

Though I have no idea who Kali Uchis, is, I kinda like her jumpsuit--just not on her. Bet Heidi Klum could have rocked it.

Instead, Heidi Klum chose this lingerie-inspired Ashi design. I can't say that she doesn't look good in it, but it's a little cheesy. It's the kind of thing a performer should be wearing--Rihanna, Gaga--not a guest. (Why does Heidi go to the Grammys anyway? She's no longer married to a musician.)

I have no idea who Mel'isa Morgan is, but clearly she wasn't able to get her dress tailored before the big day. It's far too long, and the bodice is gaping on the side. Was it off the rack?

Kelly Clarkson must be a huge fan of Downton Abbey, because her custom Christian Siriano gown makes her look like fucking Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham, on her way to dinner.

Sarah Silverman is apparently wearing Maggie Marilyn, but I'm pretty sure she stole this look out of my closet, circa 1987. It was unflattering and unattractive then, too.

Surely Bebe Rexha bought this La Perla gown off the rack because it clearly Does. Not. Fit. Child, go up a size or two. You'll be more comfortable, and so will we.

Cardi B apparently got a few kudos for wearing this furry-looking high-low weird-ass neckline cape dress thingy by Ashi, but I don't get it.

Lena Dunham's ex-boyfriend Jack Antonoff took his sister Rachel Antonoff to the Grammys. Is she wearing what Lena would have worn? Why does it look like she's wearing a dentist's jacket under a pajama top, with boudoir slippers?

If Big Bird mated with a pinata, you'd get Pink's Armani Privé gown. It makes me want to hit her with a stick. And who dresses a little girl in GRAY? I mean, we don't need to see pink, but head to to gray is a little sad, like the poor thing got splashed in gutter water on her way home from ballet class.

Bleona Qereti is a hot mess. Does she think she's Cher, ca. 1986?

If you take mauve polyester drapes from the 80s, pair them with a Frederick's of Hollywood "Farmer Gal" basque, and add some beadazzling, you'll have Kimberly Schlapman's Raisa & Vanessa gown. I suppose it's supposed to have an ombré effect, but the top and bottom look like they belong to two different garments.

I've had enough, though there was plenty more to see at the Grammy's. I'm looking forward to the Oscars red carpet and hope it proves to be a palate cleanser.

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Christian Siriano for Lane Bryant

Venerable plus-size clothing specialist, Lane Bryant, is seriously upping its cred with the introduction of a new collection by Project Runway season 4 winner, Christian Siriano. Online only today, in stores starting tomorrow, April 28th.

Siriano has been a celeb red carpet favorite pretty much since his PR win. Now we non-famous larger ladies can clad ourselves in some of his chic designs.

I'm loving the hot pink and black, and touches of animal print. Some of my favorites from the collection:

Portrait neck mesh dress $148.00

Perforated moto jacket $168.00

Animal print dress $128.00

Cropped stripe tee $48.00 and organza plaid circle skirt $108.00


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Flashback Friday - Project Runway - Nein!

This post was originally published on January 24, 2008.

Man, I was really cruel. Love it.
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Project Runway - Nein!

At the start of this episode, the remaining seven contestants are transported across the East River to a filthy Port Authority warehouse containing several hundred pairs of Levi's 501 jeans in various washes, hung like so much dirty laundry.

This week's challenge was issued by guest judge, Levi's creative director Caroline Calvin: "Create an iconic denim look of your choice that captures the originality and creativity embodied by the Levi's spirit" (or some ridiculous PR hooey like that).

It's Ready! Set! Go! as the designers race around madly, collecting garments with which to construct their newest project.

Back at Parsons, the designer set to squabbling. Christian, in his infinite wisdom and maturity, decides to harp about the challenge.

"Deconstruction. I did that in design school."
"Blah"
"I feel so manly working in denim."

Despite working well together last week (at least according to the editing), Chris had enough of Christian's whining:

"Someone give him a bottle and send him to bed."

"Christian is like a cartoon character," opined Rami. "If I had hair, I'd want to tear it out of my head."

Why not just grab a handful of Christian's instead? Bet it feels crusty.

As we look around the room at the designers' creations, we see that Victorya and Jillian are both making trench-coat-like garments. Jillian is a bit ticked because she thinks Victorya is stealing her idea from last week. But Jilly, baby, just because you got praised for it once doesn't mean you should do it again. It didn't work for Rami, and it won't work for you.

Tim Gunn then comes in to make disparaging comments about the works in progress.

Sweet P's denim wedding dress (!) makes Tim think of "happy hands at home granny circles" despite there being no grannies or circles in the vicinity. She gets extremely dismayed at his comment and immediately starts to change her design. Remember, the last time this happened, she ended up with a skirt resembling the sta-dri lining of a maxi pad.

So what did all this denim become in the end? The judges seemed really enthusiastic this week, giving far more praise to the designs they liked than usual.

Rami: No draping! Nearly-innovative use of zippers as ornament (see Sebelia, Jeffrey)! The judges were quite relieved to see something that they didn't have to pick apart. And the rest of the world was relieved that he wasn't such a royal ass this week.

Christian used pant legs as sleeves and sleeves as pant legs. The judges were too busy fawning over and petting the Shih Tzu that they didn't seem to notice that Christian made yet another jacket, and one that was patched together with different shades of denim creating a sort of fabric Frankenstein. In fact, it looked like he took this outfit and added extensions. And what's with the bulgy shoulders? Why is it that other designers get slammed for creating similar looks, but Christian hears nothing but praise?

Jillian's coat seemed like it could be a good idea at first (ignoring that we already saw it last week) but it ended up a hot mess in the end, with rough seams, too many fussy details, and mismatched denim. It was too complicated and ambitious for the amount of time allotted, particularly for one with time management issues. She's lucky that Victorya's coat was even uglier.

Chris disappointed the judges this week. After his dramatic creation last week, he delivers a boring version of a little black dress. It looked rough around the edges, and Heidi complained that it looked "home-sewn." MK thought it was "very Joan Cusack in 'Working Girl.'" Oh, were she that classy, Mike!

Sweet P, whose doom seemed all but spelled out in the workroom under Tim's baleful gaze, managed to create a nice strapless dress out of her potential nightmare wedding dress. Michael Kors thought it was "super-chic" and said it had some "slimming Voodoo." No, Michael, that model is a stick insect. She's so scrawny, she disappears when she turns sideways. It's not the dress.

Ricky: The judges are happy to see that Ricky finally put his lingerie experience to work. They wet their respective panties and proclaim the dress a miracle. Michael Kors foams at the mouth over Ricky's styling choices, exclaiming, "I love Amy Winehouse!" (Were I the model, I'd be insulted. I love Ms Winehouse too, but have you seen what that crackhead looks like these days? Truly sad.) And the biggest miracle of all - Ricky pulls off a win. To celebrate, he cries (natch).

Victorya turned out a "reconnoitered jacket with a party skirt glued on." Can't agree with you more, MK. It was sloppy, amateurish, and as noted by Nina, uninspired. Not to mention too similar to Jillian's coat. While this fembot has occasionally looked good for the final four, she got the boot this week.

Can't say I'll miss her.

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Flashback Friday - Project Runway Premiere

This post was originally published on November 15, 2007.
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Project Runway Premiere

I have been waiting for entirely too long for a new season of my favorite reality show, Project Runway. We got two seasons of Top Chef in the interim, but it's not the same thing. Although entertaining, there's none of the snark and little of the petty bitchiness of PR.

This time around, PR has upped the GQ. That's Gay Quotient. Eight of the designers are male, only one of whom, at least that I can tell, is straight. There's already been tears, from Ricky, while talking about the opportunity to be on Project Runway. So. Touching. Next week we're gonna get more. Oh baby, bring on the drama! We'll need it to liven things up, as the first few episodes are too full of mediocrity to be really interesting. Too many designers, not enough talent.

The episode started with the customary Meeting of the Designers in Their New Digs, this season at the Gotham rather than the Atlas. As each new person enters the scene, we see a bit of a cutaway interview and get a little info about him or her. When we see Simone, her name flashes on the screen and immediately we are introduced to the next person. "A-ha!" I exclaimed, "Simone will be eliminated this week." ::::cue dramatic organ music of portension here::::

For the most part, this team of designers is young and attractive, apart from all of the scary tattoos and Sweet P's eyebrows. The one standout in all the pretty is Christian, a bloviating youngster from Annapolis and alumnus of the Baltimore School for the Arts (alma mater of Jada Pinkett Smith and Tupac Shakur), who resembles a reject from the Flock of Seagulls reunion tour with his intentionally cowlicked hair. He's small and mouthy and one of those obnoxious children one hates at first sight...the Marcel Vigneron of Project Runway. His affected tone also bears resemblance to that other creature I love to hate, Paris Hilton.

Back to the show...once all designers are present and accounted for, they scurry to Bryant Park to drink champagne and meet Tim and Heidi. They then receive their first challenge which resembled a three-legged race to a pre-Christmas one-day sale: run across the park and manhandle $50K worth of Mood-donated fabrics to create an outfit that shows who they are as a designer. Laughter (the pathetic/uneasy sort) ensued when tubby costume designer Chris couldn't get his portly ass to the tents as fast as the rest of the manic gang. He still ended up with good fabric, despite the mess left behind by the greedy gropers as they cadged their loot.

With a challenge like this one expects to see something interesting. Why did the judges choose these particular designers to compete for the big money? That is a question that so far will remain unanswered. Too many of the outfits that came down the runway were just plain uninteresting. There were several short, unflattering, baby-doll-type dresses that resembled prostitutes nightgowns (should they feel the need to wear nightgowns), one pants suit, a few long dresses. Highlights and lowlights follow:

I couldn't really see the details of this black dress too well because of the...blackness...but I wasn't fond of it at all.


Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Dress. The front is fine - slinky, interesting, good color. The back, however, was scary. To paraphrase Heidi, she looked as if she was oozing fabric. Heidi actually said "poo-ing," suggesting some pretty weird anatomy since the "train" was attached somewhere around the back of the knee. And that was probably why it dragged so unappealingly on the ground, making Elisa's model Lea stumble. Or it could have been those 80s cast-off boots. Or all of the above.


Christian made an interesting plaid jacket that unfortunately made his model's head look too small (the Olive Oyl hairdo didn't help), and what was that weird furry trim down the front? I hated the bland beige skirt. Perhaps some skinny black trousers would have worked better but the judges (and I wonder about them sometimes) seemed to like it ok.


Such a sad expression. But you can see why. What is the skirt made of, and why are we seeing the underside of the material? It looks thick and coarse, like denim. Or oilcloth. Or even naugahyde. It makes her look bloated.


The shrugly thing on top hid the ill-fitting bodice, but it certainly didn't improve the outfit. And damn, wasn't I right about Simone getting the boot?



The best and winning look came from Rami who showed himself to be a master draper. He also brought back the fleurchon in a big way. Michael Kors didn't like it, saying it was too "mother-of-the-bride." Indeed. It's something Angelina Jolie might wear to the wedding of her Zahara or Shiloh. Oddly, nobody commented on the fugly shoes that came from the Bluefly wall o' accessories. Too clunky, bad color for the dress.

Thus concludes the long-awaited Season Four recap. Such as it is. I hope to be more entertaining in the future.

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What Dresses Will We See at the Oscars This Year?

The Oscars are coming up on Sunday, February 28th,. While I don't care one way or the other about who wins and who loses, I love to watch the stars' arrival on the red carpet. Who will be on the best and worst looks? Which designers will be represented?

I looked through a selection of recent fashion shows (Spring 2016 Couture and Fall 2016 Ready-to-Wear) and picked out some of my favorite looks from each designer. I stuck to designers who are red carpet regulars. There are, of course, plenty more, and I may do a second post later in the week. For now, though, what do you think of these?

Armani Privé Spring 2016 Couture 

Giorgio Armani's collection is rife with lavender looks. The gown at bottom center seems most red carpet-ready to me, but I hope to see something more surprising, like top center or top right. Actresses we might see in Armani Privé include Cate Blanchett, Hilary Swank, Naomi Watts, and Uma Thurman.

Chanel Spring 2016 Couture

I wasn't especially impressed by anything in this collection, but we may see Kiera Knightly wearing one of these looks, most likely one from the top row. Other actresses who may wear Chanel include Julianne Moore, Kristen Stewart, Blake Lively, and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Zuhair Murad Spring 2016 Couture

I had to limit myself from six looks from this collection; there were several more that were definitely Oscar-worthy. Actresses who may wear Zuhair Murad include Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jennifer Lopez, and Chrissy Teigen.

Valentino Spring 2016 Couture

Valentino's collection was maybe slighty out there for the Oscars, but wouldn't it be great to see someone wear something different for a change? I'd love to see any of these on the red carpet.  Actresses who we may see in Valentino include Kirsten Dunst, Keira Knightly, and Anne Hathaway.

Alberta Ferretti Spring 2016 Couture

This whole collection is a knock out, with a very Downton Abbey 20's influence (as had many collections this season). Will anyone be bold enough to wear something like the first look? Probably not. Or maybe Kristen Wiig, Jada Pinkett Smith, Kate Beckinsale, Anna Kendrick, or Laura Dern will step it up this year.

Elie Saab Spring 2016 Couture

Elie Saab's collection is inspired by India. Will we see Jennifer Lopez and Emma Stone wearing this designer again this year? Kate Beckinsale, Mila Kunis may also choose Elie Saab.

Jenny Packham Fall 2016 ready-to-wear

Jenny Packham is another red carpet regula (and a big favorite of Kate Middleton). This collection harkens back to the 1970s and has a silhouette for just about every body. Julianne Hough, Vanessa Hudgins, Christina Hendricks, Sandra Bullock may wear this designer on Sunday.

Carolina Herrera Fall 2016 ready-to-wear

These two looks seemed most red carpet ready. Tina Fey, Renee Zellweger, Amy Adams, Christina Hendricks have all worn Herrera on the red carpet in the past.

Christian Siriano Fall 2016 ready-to-wear

Will we see any of these three Christian Siriano looks on the red carpet? I'm thinking #3, but it's pretty safe. Pretty please can someone wear #2? Christina Hendricks? Lady Gaga? Shailene Woodley?

Here's two more looks with potential.

Schiaparelli Spring 2016 Couture

Vivienne Westwood Red Label Fall 2016 ready-to-wear

Of course we'll see Dior, Givenchy, Prabal Gurung, Alexander McQueen, Gucci, and Versace on the red carpet as well. So what do you think my chances are? Will anyone wear any of the looks above?

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Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!