Flashback Friday - Project Runway - Nein!

This post was originally published on January 24, 2008.

Man, I was really cruel. Love it.
-----------------------------------

Project Runway - Nein!

At the start of this episode, the remaining seven contestants are transported across the East River to a filthy Port Authority warehouse containing several hundred pairs of Levi's 501 jeans in various washes, hung like so much dirty laundry.

This week's challenge was issued by guest judge, Levi's creative director Caroline Calvin: "Create an iconic denim look of your choice that captures the originality and creativity embodied by the Levi's spirit" (or some ridiculous PR hooey like that).

It's Ready! Set! Go! as the designers race around madly, collecting garments with which to construct their newest project.

Back at Parsons, the designer set to squabbling. Christian, in his infinite wisdom and maturity, decides to harp about the challenge.

"Deconstruction. I did that in design school."
"Blah"
"I feel so manly working in denim."

Despite working well together last week (at least according to the editing), Chris had enough of Christian's whining:

"Someone give him a bottle and send him to bed."

"Christian is like a cartoon character," opined Rami. "If I had hair, I'd want to tear it out of my head."

Why not just grab a handful of Christian's instead? Bet it feels crusty.

As we look around the room at the designers' creations, we see that Victorya and Jillian are both making trench-coat-like garments. Jillian is a bit ticked because she thinks Victorya is stealing her idea from last week. But Jilly, baby, just because you got praised for it once doesn't mean you should do it again. It didn't work for Rami, and it won't work for you.

Tim Gunn then comes in to make disparaging comments about the works in progress.

Sweet P's denim wedding dress (!) makes Tim think of "happy hands at home granny circles" despite there being no grannies or circles in the vicinity. She gets extremely dismayed at his comment and immediately starts to change her design. Remember, the last time this happened, she ended up with a skirt resembling the sta-dri lining of a maxi pad.

So what did all this denim become in the end? The judges seemed really enthusiastic this week, giving far more praise to the designs they liked than usual.

Rami: No draping! Nearly-innovative use of zippers as ornament (see Sebelia, Jeffrey)! The judges were quite relieved to see something that they didn't have to pick apart. And the rest of the world was relieved that he wasn't such a royal ass this week.

Christian used pant legs as sleeves and sleeves as pant legs. The judges were too busy fawning over and petting the Shih Tzu that they didn't seem to notice that Christian made yet another jacket, and one that was patched together with different shades of denim creating a sort of fabric Frankenstein. In fact, it looked like he took this outfit and added extensions. And what's with the bulgy shoulders? Why is it that other designers get slammed for creating similar looks, but Christian hears nothing but praise?

Jillian's coat seemed like it could be a good idea at first (ignoring that we already saw it last week) but it ended up a hot mess in the end, with rough seams, too many fussy details, and mismatched denim. It was too complicated and ambitious for the amount of time allotted, particularly for one with time management issues. She's lucky that Victorya's coat was even uglier.

Chris disappointed the judges this week. After his dramatic creation last week, he delivers a boring version of a little black dress. It looked rough around the edges, and Heidi complained that it looked "home-sewn." MK thought it was "very Joan Cusack in 'Working Girl.'" Oh, were she that classy, Mike!

Sweet P, whose doom seemed all but spelled out in the workroom under Tim's baleful gaze, managed to create a nice strapless dress out of her potential nightmare wedding dress. Michael Kors thought it was "super-chic" and said it had some "slimming Voodoo." No, Michael, that model is a stick insect. She's so scrawny, she disappears when she turns sideways. It's not the dress.

Ricky: The judges are happy to see that Ricky finally put his lingerie experience to work. They wet their respective panties and proclaim the dress a miracle. Michael Kors foams at the mouth over Ricky's styling choices, exclaiming, "I love Amy Winehouse!" (Were I the model, I'd be insulted. I love Ms Winehouse too, but have you seen what that crackhead looks like these days? Truly sad.) And the biggest miracle of all - Ricky pulls off a win. To celebrate, he cries (natch).

Victorya turned out a "reconnoitered jacket with a party skirt glued on." Can't agree with you more, MK. It was sloppy, amateurish, and as noted by Nina, uninspired. Not to mention too similar to Jillian's coat. While this fembot has occasionally looked good for the final four, she got the boot this week.

Can't say I'll miss her.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com
Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

Flashback Friday - Project Runway Premiere

This post was originally published on November 15, 2007.
-----------------------------------

Project Runway Premiere

I have been waiting for entirely too long for a new season of my favorite reality show, Project Runway. We got two seasons of Top Chef in the interim, but it's not the same thing. Although entertaining, there's none of the snark and little of the petty bitchiness of PR.

This time around, PR has upped the GQ. That's Gay Quotient. Eight of the designers are male, only one of whom, at least that I can tell, is straight. There's already been tears, from Ricky, while talking about the opportunity to be on Project Runway. So. Touching. Next week we're gonna get more. Oh baby, bring on the drama! We'll need it to liven things up, as the first few episodes are too full of mediocrity to be really interesting. Too many designers, not enough talent.

The episode started with the customary Meeting of the Designers in Their New Digs, this season at the Gotham rather than the Atlas. As each new person enters the scene, we see a bit of a cutaway interview and get a little info about him or her. When we see Simone, her name flashes on the screen and immediately we are introduced to the next person. "A-ha!" I exclaimed, "Simone will be eliminated this week." ::::cue dramatic organ music of portension here::::

For the most part, this team of designers is young and attractive, apart from all of the scary tattoos and Sweet P's eyebrows. The one standout in all the pretty is Christian, a bloviating youngster from Annapolis and alumnus of the Baltimore School for the Arts (alma mater of Jada Pinkett Smith and Tupac Shakur), who resembles a reject from the Flock of Seagulls reunion tour with his intentionally cowlicked hair. He's small and mouthy and one of those obnoxious children one hates at first sight...the Marcel Vigneron of Project Runway. His affected tone also bears resemblance to that other creature I love to hate, Paris Hilton.

Back to the show...once all designers are present and accounted for, they scurry to Bryant Park to drink champagne and meet Tim and Heidi. They then receive their first challenge which resembled a three-legged race to a pre-Christmas one-day sale: run across the park and manhandle $50K worth of Mood-donated fabrics to create an outfit that shows who they are as a designer. Laughter (the pathetic/uneasy sort) ensued when tubby costume designer Chris couldn't get his portly ass to the tents as fast as the rest of the manic gang. He still ended up with good fabric, despite the mess left behind by the greedy gropers as they cadged their loot.

With a challenge like this one expects to see something interesting. Why did the judges choose these particular designers to compete for the big money? That is a question that so far will remain unanswered. Too many of the outfits that came down the runway were just plain uninteresting. There were several short, unflattering, baby-doll-type dresses that resembled prostitutes nightgowns (should they feel the need to wear nightgowns), one pants suit, a few long dresses. Highlights and lowlights follow:

I couldn't really see the details of this black dress too well because of the...blackness...but I wasn't fond of it at all.


Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Dress. The front is fine - slinky, interesting, good color. The back, however, was scary. To paraphrase Heidi, she looked as if she was oozing fabric. Heidi actually said "poo-ing," suggesting some pretty weird anatomy since the "train" was attached somewhere around the back of the knee. And that was probably why it dragged so unappealingly on the ground, making Elisa's model Lea stumble. Or it could have been those 80s cast-off boots. Or all of the above.


Christian made an interesting plaid jacket that unfortunately made his model's head look too small (the Olive Oyl hairdo didn't help), and what was that weird furry trim down the front? I hated the bland beige skirt. Perhaps some skinny black trousers would have worked better but the judges (and I wonder about them sometimes) seemed to like it ok.


Such a sad expression. But you can see why. What is the skirt made of, and why are we seeing the underside of the material? It looks thick and coarse, like denim. Or oilcloth. Or even naugahyde. It makes her look bloated.


The shrugly thing on top hid the ill-fitting bodice, but it certainly didn't improve the outfit. And damn, wasn't I right about Simone getting the boot?



The best and winning look came from Rami who showed himself to be a master draper. He also brought back the fleurchon in a big way. Michael Kors didn't like it, saying it was too "mother-of-the-bride." Indeed. It's something Angelina Jolie might wear to the wedding of her Zahara or Shiloh. Oddly, nobody commented on the fugly shoes that came from the Bluefly wall o' accessories. Too clunky, bad color for the dress.

Thus concludes the long-awaited Season Four recap. Such as it is. I hope to be more entertaining in the future.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com
Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!