I did some fantasy shopping at Saks.com and found some I like, most of which are completely unpractical and unaffordable.
Marc Jacobs Luxe St. Mark's Quilted Python shoulder bag $2220
Marc by Marc Jacobs Classic Q Drawstringy $528
Lockheart Double-crossed Kylie messenger $545
Lady Dior Large Top Handle Bag $2350
Helena Denatalio Carrie Leather Hobo $394
Gucci Jungle large tote $3800
Fendi Skunk Fur Peekaboo Rollbag $1970
Carlos Falchi Python Satchel $2910
Actually, the Denatalio and the Lockheart might work. Anyone want to buy them for me? :)