Project Runway All Stars Season 5 Finale, or About Damned Time

I had forgotten how exhausting recapping can be, so I'm pretty happy that this season is over and I can rest my tired brain for a while. This week's episode isn't really even interesting enough to recap, since there's no drama and all work, but here goes.

Oh, I do have to mention one very notable thing: none of the three finalists are white. In a field where the vast majority of designers are male and white, it's refreshing to see that everyone is encouraged to flourish on Project Runway. There also seems to be many more models of color on the show than are actually represented on fashion runways the world over. That said, 46% of PR winners and 60% of PRAS winners have been white men.

Ken, Kini, and Dom meet Alyssa at the One World Observatory on the 102nd floor of One World Trade Center, the tallest building in the western hemisphere. There, our charming host tasks the designers with their final chore for the series: to create an 8-piece collection that draws on their experience in New York. They have a budget of $3000, but only four days in which to put the collection together. Unlike non-All Stars Project Runway, they will not be going home to their own studios for this challenge, and there certainly won't be any visits from Tim Gunn.

Before they head off to Mood to shop, the designers select models from the army of 24 very tall and skinny people on hand, three of which are male. Then they sketch their NY-inspired collections as they gaze out onto the city from the windows of the observation deck.

Kini tells us his girl is uptown, but wants to hang out downtown. A "Park Avenue Princess" who likes to wear funky silhouettes. Are there really people like that? I read an article not long ago that indicated that there were some really insular groups of people in Manhattan, particularly among the wealthy. The article specifically pertained to a newly-minted nouveau riche mom who felt that she needed to fit in with the other nannied-up penthouse-dwelling yummy mummies in her Upper Onesideortheother neighborhood. They all wore the same types of clothing, ate at the same restaurants, did the same types of physical activities wearing the same brands of yoga pants. The author wasn't local, so she struggled with the whole Stepford Wives thing that was going on. So I would imagine that it might not be acceptable for a "Park Avenue Princess" to buck the trend and dress like one of the fun people who live downtown. (If I could afford to live in Manhattan, I'd live in the West Village or SoHo.)

Ken is inspired by the Harlem Renaissance from the 1920s. He's playing on suiting, and taking the tuxedo pant to a new level. He also plans to use the tuxedo stripe motif in other pieces, like gowns and dresses.

Dom is inspired by the whole chaos and movement and energy of the city, which she noticed on her very first trip to NY back when she was 16.

At Mood, they have a very generous hour to shop. Dom is going to work with patterns, of course, but she intends on painting them herself. She purchases plain white fabrics, leather, a few small-scale prints, and lots and lots of fabric paints. Kini thinks his confused Uptown/Downtown girl would wear plaid, so he invests in a lot of wildly colored brocade fabrics that are slightly shiny and maybe a bit tacky. He thinks they're tasteful, but they're not really. Ken is still itchy from having to use a print last week, so he's sticking not only to solids, but to plain black and white. And maybe a little screaming yellow for a punch of color.

With only four days to complete 8 looks, each designer has a long and ambitious list of things they want to complete in the first day. Dom immediately sets to painting her fabric. She lays one out on the floor and daubs it with various shades of blues. The other, she suspends and paints with strokes of primary colors in a sort of plaid. Sadly, as the designers are taking a dinner break, a dress form passes out onto the painted leather drying on the floor. Just suddenly collapses right there onto her work. Accidentally. Uh-huh. Dom shrugs it off as a "make it work moment."

The next day, the designers come back to the workroom slightly disappointed that hoards of elves did not sneak in during the night to finish things for them. Zanna comes in for a visit. It seems oddly prescient of her to be wearing plaid, as two of the finalists are using plaid fabrics in their collection. It's also odd that the plaid doesn't quite seem to match up where the bodice and skirt join, despite the obvious expense of Zanna's dress. (In pretty much every shot, and definitely in every still on the Lifetime site, she has her arms positioned over the area in question, as if she knows it doesn't match up.)

She starts off with Dom, asking about her inspiration. Zanna cautions Dom not to create overly "easy" silhouettes, for fear that she'd be sending shapeless blobs down the runway.

Kini is told that his opening and closing looks should be powerful, but the collection as a whole should not be gimmicky.

Ken tells Zanna that he's considering scrapping his bright yellow fabric, but she talks him out of it, suggesting that the color would slap the judges in the face. And by this point in the competition, we'd all like to smack them around a bit.

Zanna leaves. Ken says, "I need help. I hope Jesus comes through the door." Unfortunately for him, Jesus is nowhere to be found. However, Alexander, Asha, and Layana are more than willing to lend helping hands to their friends.

So how are the helping designers chosen? Asha, Emily, and Sam were the last to be eliminated, with Layana and Alexander auf'd before Asha. Were they the most willing to work with the finalists? The least likely to sabotage anyone? Does anyone know?

Alexander, Layana, and Asha are godsends to Dom, Ken, and Kini. They are immediately put to work on both large and small projects and lend their hands through day two and day three. There's no tension, no drama. Nobody messes anything up for anyone else, apart from Layana not planning for enough seam allowance on a pair of Ken's pants that end up not fitting his bootylicious model. But he adds more fabric on the side seams and makes it work.

At the end of day three, the designers retire to the Hudson Hotel for a bit of champagne. They were at the Hudson in the very first episode - were they staying there? And if so, why were they being punished in such a cruel manner? If you've never been to the Hudson, let me illuminate my comments for you. Actually, it would be nice if the Hudson had illumination at all. Mr Minx and I stayed there several years back. I had gotten a deal on a room via Priceline.com's name your own price scheme; you can only pick the star rating and the neighborhood, so we didn't actually choose to stay at this particular hotel. Clearly, the Hudson is designed for young, spry people with good vision. The place is barely lit. Halls are dark, elevators are darker. I recommend packing a miner's helmet or at least a flashlight to improve the lighting experience. The rooms are tiny, and the beds are basically expensive mattresses placed directly on the floor. Honestly, if you are prone to falling out of bed, you won't notice at the Hudson, since you'll only fall about 8 inches. If you have bad knees and need to go to the bathroom more than a few times during the night, this is not the hotel for you. The Hudson is for you, however, if you are a bit of a voyeur. The wall separating the bathroom from the bedroom, at least in our room, was clear glass, so people could watch each other shower. Or poop. Thankfully, there was an additional shower curtain on that wall that could be closed for a bit of privacy.

The outside bar area seems nice though.

On day four, the designers have to get everything finished, models in hair, makeup, cheesy shoes, and cheesier jewelry, and down to the runway.

There are two guest judges for this finale, actress Debra Messing, and Marie Claire editor-in-chief Anne Fulenwider. (Fulenwider makes me miss former MC EIC Joanna Coles, whom I felt was simply lovely and a much better mentor, in the Tim Gunn vein, than Zanna).

Dom presents her collection first. Her painted leather is really great, and I like her use of other patterns as well, except for that painted plaid. To me, it's a bit overscale. The judges didn't seem especially fond of it, either, with Georgina saying that she really didn't need to use it at all. I felt it really detracted from the beauty of her painted leather.

Ken's collection is next, and while it's very Ken, it's also a bit boring as far as being a runway show is concerned. It's very commercial and ready-to-wear, which of course would be just fine were it on hangers at the store, but the collection was missing some showy runway glamour. Isaac thought it was the most chic of the three, and perhaps it was. Fulenwider didn't think he had a "wow factor," nor did she appreciate what she called his "Cruella de Vil" collars. Not sure what she meant by that; in the original animated movie, Cruella wore a fur coat pretty much the whole time. And the live action character, played by Glen Close, appeared to have been dressed by a team-up of Kini and Mondo.

Ken's hugely wide-legged pants are my favorite thing, and I was glad he did end up using the yellow. But the fit is problematic in both the yellow dress and the yellow top. I think it's clear that Ken is not going to be the winner of season 5, but I have been surprised before.

Kini's collection is very Kini - very showy, lots of weird ruffly things, insane fabric choice. It's also the most design-y collection to come down the runway. Isaac thought the collection was refreshing. Fulenwider thought there was an 80s story going on, and I'm not sure she meant it as a compliment. I can sort of see it though, what with all the bright colors and the unrelenting plaid, not to mention big shoulders. But I don't think that was at all Kini's intention. Gotta remember that these designers might have been born in the 80s, but it's not like they experienced the design of the period in the same way as those of us who are old enough to have been buying our own clothes in those days.

Meanwhile, Zanna is backstage with the designers, heaping praise on every look as it comes down the runway. She is a bit overly-effusive, which makes it seem fake. (While Tim Gunn has also been a bit over-enthusiastic about runway shows, he somehow never seems like a big phony.)

The designers are sent to the green room to wait while the judges deliberate. They seem to be torn between Kini and Dom, and I'm thinking they might go for Kini. But they are really feeling Dom's interpretation of New York. You know, the whole theme of the challenge. And that's where I think Ken and Kini get a little tripped up. Remember back to when the designers were sketching at One World Trade? Ken was inspired by the 20s Harlem Revival and was going to add tuxedo stripes on everything. Kini was designing for a confused Updown/Downtown girl. And both changed their stories to something far more dull, each claiming they were inspired by the geometric aspects of Manhattan. For Ken it was the architecture, and for Kini the grid in which most of the streets are laid out. Dom kept to her original inspiration, which was more about the feeling of the city, the chaos and excitement, than to any one physical thing.

Back out before the judges, Ken is told that he's the second runner-up, which of course is disappointing for him. He really grew in the time between his season and this one though. Not only is he a better designer, but apart from that one "I'm taking my ass home" fit he had a couple weeks back, he's been the picture of decorum and stress management. Then Dom is announced as the winner, much to her own surprise.

I've been #TeamDom from the beginning. Dom is so talented, and seems so sweet. She's the kind of person I wanted to be when I was in art school - a cool kid, but not contrived in any way. Totally "normal" in her artsy-ness. I would have loved to have friends like her. Instead, my cool normalcy made me a real nerd magnet, so I ended up hanging with girls who had vampire fetishes. I am so not into vampires. Anyway, enough about me (but hey, it's my blog).

Congratulations Dom Streater! May you have a long and fruitful design career. And don't forget about us plus-sized gals who would love to wear something you've designed (apart from a cell phone case). And Mazel Tov on the recent wedding and upcoming baby!

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Project Runway All Stars Season 5 Episode 11, or, Avant Garde a Clue

This week, PRAS gets all artsy-fartsy (or, as Zanna and Mrs Weinstein might pronounce it, aahtsy-faahtsy) on us. The five remaining designers meet Alyssa at Agora Gallery in Chelsea, where the current show is an exhibition of some of "New York's cutting edge artists."

Alyssa, who appears to be dressed as an android, at least from what little we can see of her outfit (and, oddly, it has potential), tells the designers that this is the Avant Garde challenge, and they are to produce wearable works of art, innovative out-of-the-box fashion, dramatic looks, and assorted other adjectival phrases. She then reveals the name of the guest judge this week--Boy George--which is probably some contractual obligation on the show's part. Because - why does it matter? They're not designing for him. He just wants to get his name out early and often, I suppose.

The designers toast with champagne and schmooze the artists for inspiration. Sam is absolutely fixated on Carl Hopgood's piece, "Digital Taxidermy," a digital video of an owl under a glass dome. Hopgood says the concept of the piece is taking a moment and making it last forever, which really resonates with Sam. Sam is excited about gay marriage being legal across the US and wants to celebrate that in his garment. Hopefully, legal marriage for all isn't just a "moment in time," and will be an enduring thing. Unfortunately, with the current divisive political climate, nothing in this country seems to be guaranteed anymore.

Both Emily and Ken are inspired by the works of Lexi Bella, an artist who paints "strong women." Be careful with googling her; there is also a Lexi Belle, who does porn, and she has far, far more links. Of course, if you're into that stuff, google away. I'm not so impressed by Bella; her work looks a lot like the partial faces and portraits of imaginary women I doodled on my book covers in high school, only bigger and in color. However, both designers feel they design for "strong women" (does anyone design for weak women?) and her words and images resonate with them.

I'm far more into what Dom is into - the work of Juan Carlos Pinto, who makes mosaics out of cut up Metro Cards (and other stuff). I love mosaics; I suppose it's not unlike the beadwork I've done in the past, attaching small pieces together to form a cohesive whole, only in 2D. Dom recognizes that the way she plays with fabrics is not dissimilar to the effect of Pinto's cutting and pasting.

Kini gets into the work of Bradley Theodore, whose boldly colored works make me think of both Matisse and classic Mexican Day of the Dead iconography. Theodore is primarily a street artist, but his work translates well to the smaller scale of canvas.

The designers sketch for a while at the gallery. Have you noticed that what they are actually sketching doesn't always (often not at all) resemble the sketches that are blown up for our viewing pleasure? Clearly they make the designers re-draw their creations after they are finished, and those "sketches" are the ones shown to us with the designer's voice-over. Personally, I'd rather see the originals, as it gives us a glimpse into the design process and the way it evolves while making a piece. The original design often changes quite a bit, as seen in Ken's original and post-sewing drawings.

The budget for this challenge is $400. At Mood, we find Kini once again buying brocade. WTcompleteF? And Sam, who has just as much money to spend as everyone else, instead buys some floaty fabric and a ton of fabric paints.

This week, in addition to Kini's now-expected bitching about Sam, Ken gets to have his say as well. He thinks Sam is a huge threat (notice he didn't say "competition,") not because of his talent, but because he holds the judges in some strange thrall. That's called "producer manipulation," Ken. Kini seems to think that an avant garde look requires a lot of technical skills, which he believes Sam is lacking. But that's not necessarily true. To be avant garde simply means to be innovative, or in the forefront. To do something that nobody else has done before. The early 20th century art movement called Dada or Dadaism is a good example. While today, in the age of the Piss Christ, a urinal posing as art is no big thing, back then, it was shocking and unexpected. It wasn't art, it was anti-art. Yet somehow that made it art. So really, anything goes when it comes to avant garde fashion, as long as it still remains fashion, that is, wearable. However, Sam seems to think that it's about "an idea, a feeling," and that the type of avant garde that is "overdone and ridiculous" is not who he is as a designer.

What we have here is a clear non-understanding of the concept of avant garde. Admittedly, it is somewhat difficult. It is very very hard to be an innovator.

Sewing, sewing, bitching, then Day One comes to an end. Luckily, the designers have two days for this challenge, and not long after they get to the workroom on Day Two, Zanna comes in for...what would you call the opposite of a pep talk? A demoralization meeting? She starts with Emily, and tells her that her dress might be too literal a translation of the painting, what with the colors and the mimicking of the shapes on the upper left side. It's clearly an Emily dress, and while a cool concept, it's not particularly avant garde. Zanna tells Dom to "bring it." Kini's look isn't particularly modern or avant garde. (I blame the brocade.) She tells Ken not to make his dress too "Blade Runner." But if he could somehow make his dress look like a (much) younger Harrison Ford, we'd all be happy.

Ken is happy that this is a two-day challenge, as he's decided to scrap his original idea and make some major changes. His first (real) sketch showed a cage-like structure around the neck and shoulders. He chucks this out the window and works on a "neckpiece, collar moment" that will cover his model's face. And look like a giant leather taco.

When Zanna questions Sam about his choice of a rainbow, he tells her about wanting to capture the whole gay marriage is legal moment. She tells him that it's not about capturing a moment in his life, but about being inspired by the artist. But Sam is clearly inspired by the artist and the artist's concept, which is about capturing a moment. Had he decided to make an owl costume for his model, she would have had issues with that as well. The real issue here is that his design is probably not avant garde. Oh, and rainbows are a cliche.

Like Ken, Sam is happy that he has extra time for this challenge, because he is, once again, for the umpty-eleventh time in this competition, going to scrap his original design and make a jumpsuit start over. He bought some filmy purple fabric in addition to the stuff he painted, and he drapes that over the rainbow. As Sam's draping and sewing, draping and sewing, Ken gets another bee in his bonnet about Sam's lack of construction technique. He actually finds it disrespectful. There's lots of bleeping as he curses up a storm.

Eventually time is up, bitching is momentarily halted, and the designers send their models to hair and makeup. Obvious rummaging through the K-Mart Shoe and Jewelry Sale Rack also happens. Time for the runway!

Mini Cher Alyssa introduces the regular judges--Mrs Weinstein and the Iconic Isaac...

...and Boy George. I love me some Boy George. We're of the same generation, and I spent what I consider the best musical years of my life listening to Culture Club (among other artists) being fascinated by George O'Dowd's androgynous appearance. When I was in high school, I constructed a life-sized fabric mannequin of the Boy, which sat around in my bedroom for about a decade before I disassembled him and reclaimed my favorite t-shirt, which he had been wearing (it was pink, had a drawing of Big Ben, and "London" in a fancy gothic typeface). His latest album, This Is What I Do, is pretty terrific, IMHO.

The runway show goes so quickly with only five competitors left.

It's hard to tell from the commentary immediately following the runway which looks are on top and which suck. Dom is one who is on top with her mosaic dress and wacky makeup. I wonder if Zanna mentioned to her that her look was also a pretty literal translation of the original work of art, in both the colors and the effect of the pattern? The colors and patterns also remind me a bit of Roy Lichtenstein, an artist famous for his comic book-style pop art images. This look is 100% not avant garde and 100% Dom. Perhaps had Sam made this dress, which 100% would not have happened, it would seem more avant garde, because it would be 100% unexpected from him.

Also on the top and 100% representative of its author is Kini's dress. Personally, I hate it. There's so much damn technique going on. The body suit with full head mask, which echoes the black shapes of the figures in inspiration artist Bradley Theodore's works, isn't particularly new, and it's weird and lumpy. The "bow" looks heavy. And despite the skirt being hot pink instead of screaming yellow, I can't help but think of Big Bird. Isaac thinks it's too pretty, and Georgina thinks it's something that might have been worn on "Dinnastee" (Dynasty) in the 80s.

Ken's giant black taco is the closest to avant garde we get on this runway. His model's head appears to be floating, which is a neat effect. The rest of the look falls into the "nice dress with ruffled sleeves" category. Boy George thinks it's "pure Grace Jones," which I can see. Isaac thinks it's divine, but it's slightly too short and needs a bit more drama at the bottom, like a train. 

Poor Emily is on the bottom for creating something that is simply too wearable. The OCD knitter in me wants to unknit her cables and reknit them correctly. One judge opines that it would have been better if the shoulders were huge. Emily mentioned earlier in the show that that wouldn't be her thing, but we don't know if that confessional had been filmed before or after the runway show. The judges also think it might have been better in all black, but that still wouldn't have made it avant garde. However, it's a cool dress, and styled well.

Then we get to Sam, who has to explain his whole "gay marriage moment in time" thing. The judges love the story; Boy George wishes he had heard it before he saw the piece. Georgina thinks the design is unresolved, and Alyssa thinks it looks like a kite caught in a tree. Isaac LOVES it. It's his favorite look of the day, despite the fact the model is not wearing flats. He is obviously drinking the producer's Sam-flavored kool-aid by the gallon. Either that, or he wants to get into Sam's pants. Eww*. (Could be difficult, as Sam, King of the Jumpsuits, is wearing a jumpsuit.)

I don't really know what to say about it. Ken and Kini have thrown enough shade at Sam; I don't need to pile on. Suffice it to say that I think he could have done better, even keeping the whole rainbow flag motif. It's more sloppy than avant garde.

While the judges deliberate, we have even more drama between Ken and Sam in the green room. Ken calls him a snake and a liar. And while it's true that Sam has not produced many memorable garments this season, it's not his fault that he wasn't eliminated weeks ago despite being on the bottom three times prior to this one. Blame the producers, who have sacrificed quality for drama this season. It's one thing when producer interference is subtle (and it's bound to happen every season), but this season it's painfully obvious.

Back out on the runway, Ken is named the winner. Congrats to him for understanding the concept! And while Georgina thinks that Sam's entry in the competition looks like a panic and a mistake, with neither Alyssa nor George being particularly into it, he is safe. Which means Emily is out. Which is completely ridiculous. Perhaps if she had stuck to her original concept of the dress appearing to be unraveling, and really exaggerated that with strands draping the floor and coming detached (maybe with wire inserted into the tubes and bent into flowy shapes), giving it a bigger collar, and yes, bigger shoulders, she wouldn't have been on the bottom. Certainly not eliminated. But someone had to go, and apparently it was not/is never going to be Sam.

Next week: the return of past PRAS winners and Nina Garcia! And we also get a glimpse of Alyssa saying something about "for the first time this season, the judges can't make a decision," which: 1) is a lie, they couldn't decide whom to auf in two episodes so far; 2) might mean that all four remaining designers go to the finale. Ugh.

* Isaac looks like he might smell like mothballs. Or whatever cheap perfume Shawnie Sue is wearing on his QVC segments. Plus, he's more than twice Sam's age at 54. When I was 23, 30 was ancient.

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Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

Project Runway All Stars - If It Ain't Baroque, Don't Fix it, Or, Am I Getting My Period?

This week, the designers are 20 miles away from downtown Manhattan in lovely Lyndhurst, NJ, where they must endure the camp and spectacle of Medieval Times. They are clustered on the arena field when Alyssa arrives on horseback, flanked by knights, squires, and the like. She's wearing what appears to be the Medieval equivalent of a mother-of-the-bride dress, in cobalt blue and gold lace. It's tacky as hell, but is probably Marchesa.

She tells the designers that "the Medieval Period is having a real renaissance in pop culture, with books, TV, movies, and fashion all drawing on its themes." Wait. Let that sink in. Medieval Period having a "renaissance." And therein lies the theme of this episode, Twisted History, or as they call it in Texas text books, "history."

Back to pop culture. The Medieval Period, or "Dark Ages," as it was once called, was a thousand-year span of history (c. 500 AD - c. 1500 AD) known for fun things like barbarians, the Crusades, and the Black Death. (I presume Alyssa is referring to the popularity of Game of Thrones, which of course is set in a fantasy world, and not historical Earth in the Middle Ages.) She continues, "This led into the Baroque movement," which, technically it did, being as it preceded it...by about 100 years. (The Baroque Period lasted from about c. 1600 - c. 1725.) In any case, the designers are tasked with "creating a couture-inspired gown that celebrates the ornate detailing and fantasy of Baroque fashion."

In other words, the whole premise of this show has nothing to do with Medieval Times, or even the Medieval Period. But the designers have to sketch their Baroque-inspired designs there in the arena, while watching Medieval knights jousting and shit. Meanwhile, we don't even know if they are shown examples of actual baroque clothing. (Plunging necklines, wide lace collars, dropped shoulders, tight-fitting bodices, padded hips, flowing skirts, and voluminous sleeves gathered at the wrist or elbow were characteristics of the era.) The images shown on screen to viewers at home were more typical of Renaissance fashion, like the garments worn by King Henry VIII or Queen Elizabeth I. [Edited to add: the designers DID get a dossier of images. We cannot, however, presume any were historically accurate.]

Today, when we hear the word "baroque," we generally think of something that is very embellished, and this is more consistent with the music of the Baroque Period than of the fashion, In any case, the modern understanding of the word is perhaps what the designers were actually supposed to take into account, rather than anything truly historical.

Kini finds the jousting and shit "inspiring." (Why?) Ken wants to create a gown for a powerful woman, "such as Queen Elizabeth." But which one? The current, modern day Queen Elizabeth, or Queen Elizabeth I, whose era was at the end of that mystery century between the Medieval and the Baroque Periods (aka, the Renaissance). What he's sketching wouldn't work for either Queen (or any other in history).

Once sketching is over, the designers head back to Manhattan and Mood, where they have a $300 budget to spend on lace and other fashionable gee gaws. Sam wants fabric that looks like the Sistine Chapel, and by that, I assume he means the chapel's ceiling, famously painted by Michelangelo between 1508 - 1512, which of course is the early Renaissance Period. The Chapel itself was built in around 1470, at the end of the Medieval Period. In any case, he doesn't find it. What he does find is some very expensive white and black lace, and he buys a lot of it.

Back at the workroom, Kini, once again, is casting aspersions on Sam's integrity. In fact, Sam is being cast as a real villain this season, thanks to the magic of editing. But he's what - a 25-year-old kid who wants to win a competition? He's no different than anyone else going for the same prize. He's not nice, sure, but he's no villain. Kini, and everyone else, just needs to let it go. It doesn't help matters much when Dom suggests that Sam cut flowers out of his lace and applique them to his gown for modesty, rather than lining it with muslin. He'd be stupid to ignore her, but we see eyebrows go up around the room (whether they actually did or the producers just want us to believe that) and hear suggestions made that if he's on top, he won't cop to the judges that it was actually Dom's idea.

The next day--they get two days for this challenge--Mitchell opines that Ken's fabric looks like tree bark. "That's shade, bitch," is Ken's reply. When assured that it was not shade, he admitted, "it's expensive tree bark, like the kind in Marie Antoinette's garden." (I probably don't need to tell you that Marie Antoinette lived from 1755 - 1793, not in the Baroque Period.)

Zanna time. Looking slightly bedraggled this week, Zanna announces that she's going to be "all up in your business," during her critiques. And she pretty much deflates every ego in the place with some much-needed negative criticism. Kini needs to modernize, because his look is perfect for a Medieval costume party, Valerie needs a "wow factor," Dom needs to be "more baroque' (whatever that actually means), Asha's is costume-y. Etc. When she leaves, the vibe in the workroom is "fear."

Soon enough it's time for "hah" (as the voiceover in the Schwartzkopf commercials pronounces it) and makeup. Ken tells the makeup artist that he wants a "strong Victorian look." The Victorian period started in 1837, when Queen Victoria ascended to the throne, and ended with her death in 1901. Makeup in the Victorian era was subtle, with plucked eyebrows, rice powder or talc to cover freckles and blotches on the skin, a bit of eye liner, lip pomade (which may or may not be tinted), and perhaps a smear of beet juice on the cheeks. They were also fond of dropping citrus juice, or poisonous belladonna, into their eyes for a luminous look.

As the designers get their models ready for the runway, it's clear that Mitchell has bitten off more than he can chew. He spent a lot of time on the bodice, and it's rather interesting, even if it does remind me of C3PO. The zipper on the back of his gown has broken and he does an awkward patch job to hide it. Also, he's not finished working on his greaves, which he's talked about incessantly but we've not seen. Greaves are shin armor, popular in ancient Greece and Rome and in Medieval Europe until about the ninth century, which was quite a bit of time before the Baroque Period. I feel that it's pretty clear at this point that he's going home.

Apart from Isaac, in his usual all-black ensemble, the judges all look a bit nuts. Alyssa is wearing a pretty strapless black lace dress that looks like it wants to slide off her boobs. The lovely Mrs Weinstein is wearing one of her Marchesa creations with frayed black lace. Special guest judge, model Coco Rocha, is wearing an absolutely hideous pantsuit. And Mrs Weinstein's business partner Keren Craig is wearing a dress suitable for a Madame in mourning.

The Marchesa gals tell the designers that they're offering a special prize to the winner - they will partner with him or her to create a look for their cheap line, Marchesa Notte.

Let's start the show!

Kini's looks unwieldy, and also entirely too much like the upside-down umbrella dress he won the wet runway challenge with in his season, only in red. Emily's skirt appears to be a dry cleaning bag over a garbage bag. They are both safe, as are Dom and Asha. I think Dom's look is an absolute knock-out. Why she's not winning every week is beyond me.


Ken, Sam, and Valerie are on the top. Layana, Alexander, and Mitchell are on the bottom.

While Isaac doesn't like Ken's gown, the other judges find it to be austere and elegant. Sam's is "not very Baroque" (whatever that means), but is "light and fresh," and looks expensive. Alyssa thinks she's seen it before. Valerie's walks well and is "modern" and shows great craftsmanship.

 Ken's looks like it weighs a ton.

Sam's looks like a bunch of lace fabric to me. There's something very unfinished about it, and I hate the bit of lace peeking out beyond the trim on her shoulders.

Pretty, but boring.

According to Isaac, Layana's gown looks like a factory-made dress trying to be couture, which seems a bit harsh. It's just ugly. (I am not fond of yellow.) There were too many ideas, and brown was a truly awful choice for a secondary color. I think the patchwork makes it look a bit country, and there's also something kinda matador about the whole look.

Also, what on earth is Layana wearing?  It's very Madonna-esqe.

Mitchell's dress was also "not baroque" (which Georgina pronounces as "ba-rock," as if she were on first-name basis with the President). Alyssa finds Mitchell's bottom unsettling. The bottom of his dress. And those boots are just awful. He's also dinged for the awkward zipper covering.

Alexander's dress is proclaimed "very Breakfast at Tiffany's" and a bit costume-y. Nobody likes the pearl embellishment, which Isaac calls "seed pearls." Um, they're about 1000 x bigger than a seed pearl, which is why it's so awful. I recall someone remarking that it was "not the right period." Huh? As if anything in this episode, from Medieval Times to the winning look, was from the "right period."

So we don't really get couture or Baroque in this episode, and even that whole conceit is tossed aside when Ken is proclaimed the winner for his artful interpretation of a tree in Marie Antoinette's garden.

Mitchell, of course, is out.

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So How'd I Do?

Last week, I made some predictions about the fashions that we could see at the Oscars this year. Armani Privé, Chanel, Zuhair Murad, and Valentino are annually popular choices. I thought maybe we'd see a couple looks from the most recent Marchesa collection, too. And we did - we saw all of those designers represented, plus more. But only two of my picks from my Oscars post ended up on the red carpet, and one of my favorite Marchesa designs.

Julianne Moore, who is a fan of Chanel, wore a variation of the gown sported by Kendall Jenner at the fashion house's Spring 2016 Couture show. The long zipper-like row of beading down the front of the gown was removed, and the triangle above it was filled in. It also looks like the beads might be slightly different, although it's possible that it's a trick of the light.

Mark Ruffalo's wife, Sunrise Coigney, wore this smashing Valentino Couture gown, looking pretty much exactly the way it came down the runway. Coigney looked lovely. Ruffalo, however, needed a slightly bigger jacket.

Preggers Chrissy Teigen wore a Marchesa gown from the Fall 2016 Ready-to-Wear collection. It looks to have been specially altered to accommodate her baby bump. The sleeves seem longer and more embellished, and Teigen's skirt also has more ornamentation. Not sure why Chrissy wanted more glittery frou frou at the bottom. I prefer the original.

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Marchesa Fall 2016 RTW

I don't normally like Marchesa. It's too...frou frou, too girly, too ruffly...something. And this collection is too too as well, but in a wonderful way.

Designers Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig took inspiration from the paintings of John Singer Sargent, although their work is far more embellished, more over-the-top opulent, than anything in a Singer portrait (although you can see similarities in the first image with Sargent's painting of Catherine Vlasto.)

While that baby blue thing does nothing for me, these fancier numbers are more my style. Not that I have the body for this sort of thing...or the money...and certainly not the places to go that would require such costume. (My invitation to the Met Ball gets lost in the mail every year.)

I can see Salma Hayak in this red one...at the Oscars maybe?

This one looks a little odd in the photo, but moving down the runway, it was reminiscent of some sort of elegant sea creature.

Marchesa AW16
Inside Marchesa's Princess fantasy 󾓑󾁁: http://oak.ctx.ly/r/4b3i1
Posted by ELLE Australia on Thursday, February 18, 2016

What do you think? Please tell me in the comments.

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