2018 Grammy Awards

We don't watch the Grammys at Casa Minx. We listen to very little commercial music and don't really care about the Beyoncés and Rihanna's and especially not the Taylor Swifts of the world. Still, the red carpet portion of the program can be interesting. The clothes worn to the Grammys are usually quite a bit more outré than those worn to other awards ceremonies. And not always in a good way.

I think this year was not as fantastical as other years, but there's still a good selection of good, bad, and worse to critique.

All photos Getty Images.

Cyndi Lauper's cherub-printed Moschino suit has landed her on a few worst-dressed lists, but I love it on her. It's quirky, but not crazy, and it fits her perfectly.

Rita Ora was bringing back "old Hollywood glamour" in her black Ralph & Russo gown. I hate the deliberate "my roots are growing out" thing that so many people are doing with their hair, but sometimes it works. This isn't. But she's gorgeous otherwise.

Eve looked cool and classy in her Naeem Khan pantsuit, though it looks a bit heavy and uncomfortable to sit in. This look would be too much on most occasions, but perfect for the Grammys.

I loved Miley's Jean-Paul Gaultier catsuit. She looked both sexy and demure, even ladylike. Our little Miley is all growed up!

I haven't been able to find the designer of India Arie's shorts and duster combo, but I love it. It's bold, interesting, and in-your-face, without being tacky.

Though I have no idea who Kali Uchis, is, I kinda like her jumpsuit--just not on her. Bet Heidi Klum could have rocked it.

Instead, Heidi Klum chose this lingerie-inspired Ashi design. I can't say that she doesn't look good in it, but it's a little cheesy. It's the kind of thing a performer should be wearing--Rihanna, Gaga--not a guest. (Why does Heidi go to the Grammys anyway? She's no longer married to a musician.)

I have no idea who Mel'isa Morgan is, but clearly she wasn't able to get her dress tailored before the big day. It's far too long, and the bodice is gaping on the side. Was it off the rack?

Kelly Clarkson must be a huge fan of Downton Abbey, because her custom Christian Siriano gown makes her look like fucking Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham, on her way to dinner.

Sarah Silverman is apparently wearing Maggie Marilyn, but I'm pretty sure she stole this look out of my closet, circa 1987. It was unflattering and unattractive then, too.

Surely Bebe Rexha bought this La Perla gown off the rack because it clearly Does. Not. Fit. Child, go up a size or two. You'll be more comfortable, and so will we.

Cardi B apparently got a few kudos for wearing this furry-looking high-low weird-ass neckline cape dress thingy by Ashi, but I don't get it.

Lena Dunham's ex-boyfriend Jack Antonoff took his sister Rachel Antonoff to the Grammys. Is she wearing what Lena would have worn? Why does it look like she's wearing a dentist's jacket under a pajama top, with boudoir slippers?

If Big Bird mated with a pinata, you'd get Pink's Armani Privé gown. It makes me want to hit her with a stick. And who dresses a little girl in GRAY? I mean, we don't need to see pink, but head to to gray is a little sad, like the poor thing got splashed in gutter water on her way home from ballet class.

Bleona Qereti is a hot mess. Does she think she's Cher, ca. 1986?

If you take mauve polyester drapes from the 80s, pair them with a Frederick's of Hollywood "Farmer Gal" basque, and add some beadazzling, you'll have Kimberly Schlapman's Raisa & Vanessa gown. I suppose it's supposed to have an ombré effect, but the top and bottom look like they belong to two different garments.

I've had enough, though there was plenty more to see at the Grammy's. I'm looking forward to the Oscars red carpet and hope it proves to be a palate cleanser.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com Because of past content theft, I am forced to add this statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere other than the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

63rd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards

There were lots of relatively plain gowns at this year's Emmy awards, and relatively few real dogs.

Sofia Vergara is hot in a hot Vera Wang dress. But come on - she'd look gorgeous in a black plastic trash bag.

Amy Poehler looks a bit like a foil-wrapped chocolate in Peter Som. It seems too tight.

I don't know who Aubrey Plaza is, but I love her slightly retro-70s Juan Carlos Obando dress.

Heather Morris looks like she's being attacked by a flock of rabid ravens. A bit much.

Heidi Klum in a Christian Siriano that at first I thought must be Marchesa. All I can think of is "tub farts."

Julie Bowen, we don't need to see your sternum. That neckline is for a woman with breasts (although the Oscar de la Renta gown itself is gorgeous). The eye makeup is a bit much, too.

Kate Flannery almost always looks dynamite, as she does this year.

Didn't Kate Winslet wear this Elie Saab before? It looks so familiar. Maybe in another color?

This relatively-simple Marchesa struck me as too much fabric for tiny Lea Michele.

Love Maria Bello's Kaufman Franco dress - hate the hair.

Julianna Margulies wanted to be the life of the party, so she wore a lampshade. An Armani Privé lampshade, but still...a lampshade.

Posted by theminx on Opalescentminx.com
Because of recent content theft, I am forced to add this new statement to the end of my posts: If you're reading this post anywhere besides the Opalescent blog, OpalescentMinx.com (also http://minxbeads.blogspot.com) then this content has been stolen. Please do not support this thief!

14th Annual SAG Awards

The 14th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards were held on a soggy afternoon this past weekend but the weather wasn't going to prevent guild members from getting all gussied up for the evening. There were more big winners indoors than on the red carpet, but I saw lots of near-hits and near-misses and no complete disasters. Well, few disasters anyway.

Let's start with the best looks:

Vanessa Williams looks gorgeous in this graphic yellow Escada dress.


Kyra Sedgwick looks stunning from the front in this L'Wren Scott gown, but the lace stuff on the back is not up to snuff. And funny how turning sideways can almost ruin the line of the dress - the skirt is noticeably dragging and it makes Kyra seem a little dumpy.


Honestly, I don't know what all the fuss is about Eva Longoria. And I like the back view of her plunging Naeem Kahn gown better than the front, but all-in-all, a good look for this munchkin-sized actress.


I'm not sure about this color on Allison Janney, but doesn't she look terrific otherwise? Strike that - the color is great on her. It's a bold lavender that we haven't seen since the 70s and should see more often.


I do like this Elie Saab gown very much, but maybe not on Christina Applegate. Nothing personal, Christina, I just think someone else could wear it better.


Tina Fey in a simple Alberta Ferretti one-shouldered number. Simple and classy, just like Ms. Fey.

Not bad, but not good either:


Terri Hatcher rolled around in some bedsheets and ran out the door. Huh? You mean that's a Badgley Mischka? The style of the dress is actually quite nice, if seen a thousand times before, but the pale print is a little housewares department.


I'm torn about America Ferrera's Monique Lhuillier gown. I do like the way it emphasizes her curves, but the gray color is a bit matronly, as is all of the cobwebby lace.


Chandra Wilson looks like she should be in a 60s Motown girl group. Or in Dreamgirls. Part of me likes this look, but part of me is inspired to suggest a "Recycled Christmas Wrapping Paper" challenge for season five of Project Runway.


Brenda Strong wears an interesting gown that looks like it may have been made by the costume designers for the Batman movies.


Nikki Blonsky! I love her, think she is adorable. Not sure about the IGIGI gown though...it's a bit much, but I do appreciate that big girls can be sexy too.


Michelle Pfeiffer showed up in quite the plain Jane dress; nonetheless, she looks gorgeous with her darkened hair. She could use some Minx jewelry around her neck too.


Ellen Page in Zac Posen. Someone teach this girl how to pose!


Amanda Bynes is another one who needs posing lessons. Her dress is by Marchesa, and it's beautiful, but perhaps a bit much for such a young gal.


Ellen Pompeo looked like a giant baked potato in this Nina Ricci gown.


Sandra Oh wore a gown with a very Korean traditional feel, by Korean designer Kim Me Hee. Unfortunately, the asymmetrical bow makes her look as if one boob has deflated.

And the real stinkers:

Usually a stunning presence on the red carpet, Cate Blanchett opted to shroud her pregnant body in this oversized tablecloth by Nicholas Ghesquiere for Balenciaga.


Lorraine Bracco looked like a sausage ready to burst from its casing.


WTF is Kate Hudson wearing? The skirt of this Balmain number looks like a very Kate flowy hippy dress, or maybe a repurposed bed sheet, but does she have a dead bird smashed on her chest as well?


Jenna Fischer is just so damn cute. But this dress is not quite right for her. I can't decide if it's matronly, or if it just doesn't fit well. I think the bodice was once a throw pillow.


Why would Carrot Top be invited to the SAG Awards? Oh, wait, that's Debra Messing in an Oscar de la Renta that makes her look even more flat-chested than she already is.


Angelina Jolie continued to fuel pregnancy rumors with this caftan by designer Juliana Caironet. Wonder how many times Brad stepped on it during the course of the evening?


Kate Beckinsale's ruffled Luisa Beccaria gown looks like something my Skipper doll wore in the 70s. It just looks cheap to me.