Happy Helloween!

Quantum of Solace Premiere

The new 007 movie, Quantum of Solace, had it's world premiere last night at the Odeon Leicester Square in London. I thought Casino Royale was one of the best modern Bond movies to come out in a long time, so I am looking forward to catching the latest installment, which borrows its name (only) from one of Ian Fleming's short stories published in the collection For Your Eyes Only.

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Daniel Craig, looking snazzy in what appears to be a dark blue tux, and minimal arm sling, and his partner Satsuki Mitchell.

Dame Judi Dench revealing too much of her chestal regions. Madame, you are not Helen Mirren!

Those Windsor-Mountbatten boys, Wills and Harry, also attended the premiere, both looking quite fabulous.

Musician Jack White and his wife, model Karen Elson. When did these two die? It appears that they've recently been exhumed and are looking for roles in the next Tim Burton movie. Jack does the theme song for Quantum of Solace, along with Alicia Keys. It's so horrible I could make it through only 53 seconds of the video I found on YouTube.

This is Gemma Arterton, a British actress playing the latest "Bond Girl." Slutty, slutty, slutty!

What's Wrong With Her Face?

Did Catherine Zeta-Jones fall face-first from the nose up into a vat of bronzer? And why does she overtweeze her eyebrows so?

Monica Cruz...

...is definitely the better looking of the Cruz sisters. Her nose doesn't hang over into her mouth like Penelope's does.

Those Wacky Canadians

A model in the Playdead Cult & Damzels in this Dress show at L'Oreal Toronto Fashion Week gets her hair caught in her shoe and is forced to hop the entire way down the runway.

British Humor

Heh. Look who's talking. :)

Fashionably Fat

It's nice to see an overweight contestant on the CW's new reality series, Stylista, in which whiny 20-somethings compete for a junior editor position at Elle magazine.

Seemingly ignored by the other, skinnier, and definitely bitchier contestants, Danielle was treated very well in episode one by Anne Slowey, Elle's fashion news director. Slowey complimented her eyeglasses and said she had great personal style. Well, I beg to differ. While Danielle might have interesting taste in clothes, she wears them at least a size too small. She spent most of the episode yanking her hem down and adjusting herself, obviously self-conscious. This could have been avoided by wearing flattering pieces that fit properly.

Squeezing a body, sausage-like, into a casing of stretch clothing, is neither fashion-forward nor attractive. Take it from someone who's been fat all her life (except for a brief period of time after starving myself into a size 10). Don't buy the size you *think* you should wear, but clothes that actually fit. And make sure to choose styles that are flattering to your body type.

Big girls with knock-knees and thick legs shouldn't wear tight pants; they only emphasize the fact that you can't get your calves anywhere near each other. Straight leg trousers or an a-line skirt that comes to about mid-kneecap or longer are the way to go. A bit of width at the bottom of a body can do wonders to balance the proportions of someone who is top-heavy, or apple-shaped like Danielle.

Shirts should fall away from the body under the bodice, not hug it, emphasizing every blurble and blob. If you have fat upper arms that would look more at home on a platter with pineapple slices and brown sugar glaze, wear elbow-length or longer sleeves.

Wear a cute jacket with interesting detail at the collar to frame the area for which you want attention - your face. And cut your hair in a flattering style. If your face is wide, try a 'do that can hide part of it, like a medium or short bob, or something shaggy and piece-y. Try some height as well, to elongate your head (much easier to do in the 80s!).

And don't forget to accessorize! Interesting earrings or a necklace plus cute shoes are always a good way to add style to an outfit. Just don't overdo it.

All Shades of Wrong

What do you think of this?Or this?

All shades of wrong, huh? Dogs come with their own clothing - a fur coat. Well, except for those weird hairless models from Mexico. The photos come from this new book, InDognito: A Book of Canines in Costume. Whaddya mean they're cute? Sheesh.

Oprah's Favorite Gadget

I'm guessing - a vibrator. (I don't care enough to watch the video, found on the Amazon.com home page earlier today. Sorry.)

Whitney Gala 2008

The Whitney Museum held its annual gala and studio party on October 20th, hosted by Donatella Versace, and attended by celebrity and socialite alike.

Christina Ricci showed up in an Atelier Versace gown. Not quite sure how I feel about it. The black motif on the front reminds me of some sort of goth apron. The big oval motif on the skirt kinda also screams "womb!" The daring back that shows off Ricci's tramp stamp is...well, trampy. But I guess that's the point.

Actress Byrdie Bell rolled around in a piece of fabric, stapled it on one side, and called it a dress. It is interesting fabric, however.

Likewise, socialite Julie Macklowe rolled around in a pile of dirty insulation, added a belt, and ran out of the house.

(Hey - I wanna be a "socialite." That means "does nothing but the occasional charity work rich lady-who-lunches," right? But I want to be one with better taste in evening gowns.)

Stylista!

Stylista debuts tonight at 9pm on the CW - will you be watching? I sure will, and I'm also lead blogger for Blogging Stylista, a new blog from the good people that bring you Blogging Project Runway and Blogging Shear Genius!

I'm not recapping this one. Just so you know. :)

A Minx Opal Design

I recently took photos of the fine jewelry I designed once-upon-a-time as part of my entry in the Baker Art Awards, and I thought I'd share some of them with you here.  

The top part of this pendant was once a ring. I got it at an auction for a pittance, even though it's 18K gold; however, the green stone I hoped was an emerald turned out to be glass.  I couldn't wear it as a ring because it snagged on everything, so I decided to transform it to something I could wear regularly. I had just purchased several small but beautiful opals, and one had a green flash similar in shade to the glass stone in the ring top.  Green sapphires and a tiny tanzanite were perfect color accents to the opal, and the diamonds add sparkle.  The dangle is a bronzy freshwater pearl with nice green iridescence.

I love this piece and when I worked in a better neighborhood, I wore it frequently on a long, skinny, 14K yellow gold snake chain.

Do you like it?

RIP Mr Blackwell

The original bitchy fashion critic, Mr Blackwell, died yesterday at the age of 86. Without him, the Joan Riverses of the world would probably never have latched onto such a fun job. :)

Varla Jean Merman

Miss Varla Jean is one of the more believably feminine drag queens that I've ever seen. She appeared at the Hippo in Baltimore last night, and I'll bet that was a great show.

The video is amusing, and rather touching. In a drag queen kinda way. :)

Leanne Marshall at Portland Fashion Week

Leanne's line Leanimal showed at Portland Fashion Week last year for Spring/Summer 2008. Although her palette was limited to white/beige/blue again, the designs didn't seem as fussy as her NY Fashion Week show. Some even looked a bit bedraggled, but overall it was unmistakably Leanne. The four above were my favorite looks.

Project Runway Season Five - Finale Part Deux

As usual, the Project Runway finale opens with the girls getting ready for another day of sewing, this time just a handful of days prior to their big Fashion Week show. Leanne remarks that this is the first time all three finalists were women. Girl power!

At the Corporate Sponsorship Workroom, Tim greets the girls with two important messages: 1) they will be presenting ten looks apiece at the show, so some editing will need to be done to their collections; 2) they will be going to select models now now now.

Big hair with which to make buns, that is. As Korto puts it, "big Asian buns." By that I suspect she means geisha-style big hair.

Back at the Corporate Sponsorship Workroom (CSW), Tim comes in to see how the ladies are doing with editing their collections down to ten pieces. He tries a little constructive criticism with Kenley and once again is huffily rebuffed.

Weeeeellllll....if the pointy hat fits....

Korto has determined that she can neither use her unpopular wedding gown nor the bridesmaid dress in her final collection, so she decides to do something radical.

In a word, yes. She does some heavy duty praying for few alterations on the completed pieces so she'll have time to finish the new ones.

The next morning, the designers meet with Collier Strong to discuss makeup for the runway show.

Back in the CSW, models come in for fittings. Kenley and Leanne voice their very grown-up opinions of each other's work.

Still later in the day, the designers go to visit with a TRESemme hair specialist to plan their dos for the runway show.

The next day - the final day before the show - more painfully skinny girls show up for fittings. One of Leanne's models brings her little doggie, who promptly leaves a steaming pile on the floor near Leanne's station. She shoos it off to poop on Kenley and Korto, while her model - wearing a long blue evening gown - stoops over to pick up the mess. Yikes!

You could have blamed it on Kenley. Nobody would have known the difference.

Tim comes in for one last "gather 'round" with the designers to tell them their order on the runway: Kenley, Korto, Leanne. He gives them a big hug and gets verklempt yet again.

The next morning, the designers rise at the ungodly hour of 3 AM and drag themselves to Bryant Park. They are awed by the size of the Tent in which they will be displaying their collection. Kenley parades down the runway and tells us that her parents will be at the show.

Backstage, the designers get helpers for last minute stitching and ironing. Kenley chases hers away, saying that nobody touches her garments but her, and that none of them would know how to carefully iron hand-painted fabric. Can't blame her for being cautious, but she didn't have to seem so bitchy. Ok, she did. It's her nature.

Finally, it's time for the long-awaited runway show!

Jennifer Lopez was scheduled to be the guest judge this season, but she had to bow out because her ass was too big to fit in the tents she had a "foot injury." They really should have asked Eric Cartman to step in...

...but instead...

Tim Gunn is called in to replace Ms. Lopez. He's certainly more qualified to judge a fashion show; he can dress himself without a stylist too, I'll bet. He assures the audience that he will not play favorites and will endeavor to be as objective as possible.

Kenley's models take the runway first...

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followed by Korto's collection....

and finally, Leanne.

They were of course preceded by the three decoys, Joe, Suede, and Jerell. You can see their collections here.

After the show, they head back to Parsons for one final judgment. Around now we get a commercial break and find out that Korto won Fan Favorite. It happened so fast I wasn't sure what I saw. Congratulations, Korto!

Kenley's collection was judged first.

It was well-received, for the most part. Tim thought Kenley's collection had a profound point-of-view. Michael Kors loved the hand painted flowers. But Nina, always a stick-in-the-mud, thought one of the floral dresses was a rip-off of Balenciaga (one of the dresses in the Spring '08 collection).

Korto was next. Nina called her collection "effortlessly cohesive" and praised her "phenomenal color." Heidi got bitchy and said she thought some pieces were overworked.

Tim really liked one of Korto's last-minute dresses, the one worn by Amanda Fields. Personally, I thought it was too voluminous for her super slim figure, but what do I know? Jennifer Lopez may even agree with me.

Finally, Leanne's collection was roundly praised for her divine workmanship and the variety of pieces she showed. Heidi thought there may have been too many petals. MK joked that "Petals Marshall" would be a good stripper name. You know he filed that one away to use as his next Halloween costume.

Before announcing the winner, somebody had to get aufed. Not surprisingly, it was Kenley, and I'll bet Heidi took great pleasure in wielding the axe. Kenley took it well, as usual.

And for the winner...Leanne! Whoda thunk one of the boring white girls would end up with the prize? Certainly not me. Not that Leanne's not talented, I'm just tired of pasta and waves and noodles and assorted flippy shapes.

And the judges celebrate another season of Project Runway completed! Now...on to Lifetime? Or not? Stay tumed!

CLICK HERE for a bonus Project Runway post!