Opalescent: Project Runway Season Five

As usual, the Project Runway finale opens with the girls getting ready for another day of sewing, this time just a handful of days prior to their big Fashion Week show. Leanne remarks that this is the first time all three finalists were women. Girl power!

At the Corporate Sponsorship Workroom, Tim greets the girls with two important messages: 1) they will be presenting ten looks apiece at the show, so some editing will need to be done to their collections; 2) they will be going to select models now now now.

Big hair with which to make buns, that is. As Korto puts it, "big Asian buns." By that I suspect she means geisha-style big hair.

Back at the Corporate Sponsorship Workroom (CSW), Tim comes in to see how the ladies are doing with editing their collections down to ten pieces. He tries a little constructive criticism with Kenley and once again is huffily rebuffed.

Weeeeellllll....if the pointy hat fits....

Korto has determined that she can neither use her unpopular wedding gown nor the bridesmaid dress in her final collection, so she decides to do something radical.

In a word, yes. She does some heavy duty praying for few alterations on the completed pieces so she'll have time to finish the new ones.

The next morning, the designers meet with Collier Strong to discuss makeup for the runway show.

Back in the CSW, models come in for fittings. Kenley and Leanne voice their very grown-up opinions of each other's work.

Still later in the day, the designers go to visit with a TRESemme hair specialist to plan their dos for the runway show.

The next day - the final day before the show - more painfully skinny girls show up for fittings. One of Leanne's models brings her little doggie, who promptly leaves a steaming pile on the floor near Leanne's station. She shoos it off to poop on Kenley and Korto, while her model - wearing a long blue evening gown - stoops over to pick up the mess. Yikes!

You could have blamed it on Kenley. Nobody would have known the difference.

Tim comes in for one last "gather 'round" with the designers to tell them their order on the runway: Kenley, Korto, Leanne. He gives them a big hug and gets verklempt yet again.

The next morning, the designers rise at the ungodly hour of 3 AM and drag themselves to Bryant Park. They are awed by the size of the Tent in which they will be displaying their collection. Kenley parades down the runway and tells us that her parents will be at the show.

Backstage, the designers get helpers for last minute stitching and ironing. Kenley chases hers away, saying that nobody touches her garments but her, and that none of them would know how to carefully iron hand-painted fabric. Can't blame her for being cautious, but she didn't have to seem so bitchy. Ok, she did. It's her nature.

Finally, it's time for the long-awaited runway show!

Jennifer Lopez was scheduled to be the guest judge this season, but she had to bow out because ~~her ass was too big to fit in the tents~~ she had a "foot injury." They really should have asked Eric Cartman to step in...

...but instead...

Tim Gunn is called in to replace Ms. Lopez. He's certainly more qualified to judge a fashion show; he can dress himself without a stylist too, I'll bet. He assures the audience that he will not play favorites and will endeavor to be as objective as possible.

Kenley's models take the runway first...

Click images to enlarge

followed by Korto's collection....

and finally, Leanne.

They were of course preceded by the three decoys, Joe, Suede, and Jerell. You can see their collections here.

After the show, they head back to Parsons for one final judgment. Around now we get a commercial break and find out that Korto won Fan Favorite. It happened so fast I wasn't sure what I saw. Congratulations, Korto!

Kenley's collection was judged first.

It was well-received, for the most part. Tim thought Kenley's collection had a profound point-of-view. Michael Kors loved the hand painted flowers. But Nina, always a stick-in-the-mud, thought one of the floral dresses was a rip-off of Balenciaga (one of the dresses in the Spring '08 collection).

Korto was next. Nina called her collection "effortlessly cohesive" and praised her "phenomenal color." Heidi got bitchy and said she thought some pieces were overworked.

Tim really liked one of Korto's last-minute dresses, the one worn by Amanda Fields. Personally, I thought it was too voluminous for her super slim figure, but what do I know? Jennifer Lopez may even agree with me.

Finally, Leanne's collection was roundly praised for her divine workmanship and the variety of pieces she showed. Heidi thought there may have been too many petals. MK joked that "Petals Marshall" would be a good stripper name. You know he filed that one away to use as his next Halloween costume.

Before announcing the winner, somebody had to get aufed. Not surprisingly, it was Kenley, and I'll bet Heidi took great pleasure in wielding the axe. Kenley took it well, as usual.

And for the winner...Leanne! Whoda thunk one of the boring white girls would end up with the prize? Certainly not me. Not that Leanne's not talented, I'm just tired of pasta and waves and noodles and assorted flippy shapes.