2010 American Music Awards

Music awards always offer up a tantalizing variety of trashy costumes, and this year's AMAs were no different. However, there were also a surprising number of tasteful and perhaps even somewhat matronly looks.

Short and shiny. Fergie chose feathered epaulets, while Jenny McCarthy works a disco Wilma Flintstone look.

Cray-cray obviously runs in the Pinkett-Smith family. Mother Jada looks like an interplanetary harlot, while her daughter, Willow, looks as if she just escaped a special Nickelodeon-inspired mental ward, leaving half her straight jacket behind.

Heidi Klum and Rhianna both borrowed selections from their granny's lingerie chest. Rhianna's matchy-matchy hair and dress color would probably send Nina Garcia into apoplexy.

Katy Perry looks unusually tasteful and subdued. As does Miley Cyrus, but why didn't anyone tell her that she was trailing an entire roll of toilet paper behind her?

I can't even begin to describe Nicki Minaj's special brand of insanity. Maybe Phoebe Price (just back from a remnant sale at Mood) can help me....