Thursday, December 13, 2007

Project Runway - Episode Five

This week's challenge was to design for women who had lost a substantial amount of weight, using their old favorite fat clothes as raw material for the new outfits. Having myself lost a lot of weight in the past, I can't imagine wanting anything new made from my crappy old ugly polyester muu muus. Ok, so it wasn't quite that bad, but they make some seriously ugly clothes for fat people. When I got slim, I wanted everything NEW, and either gave or threw away my old shmatte.

Yet again, we had a fairly staid episode without a lot of bitchy deliciousness. We did get a whiff of drama, but it was of the sad kind. Poor Jack Mac, who is HIV+ and needs to keep a close eye on health problems, had an episode of what seems to be a recurring case of MRSA. At least that's what he called it when he was on the phone with his doctor. Really serious shit, that MRSA, and he had every right to be freaked out and upset. What I think was most upsetting, to Jack and to the rest of the designers, was that he had to remove himself from competition to get treatment.

...or that was what Bravo has led us to believe! It may well have been lip collagen injections gone awry! Think Jenna Jameson and her recent conversion to platypus. I also thought Jack sorta resembled Mr. Bean with his new upper lip. Further investigation reveals that they may have been separated at birth. Or not.

For some odd reason, Bravo decided to bring Chris March back to replace Jack. Why? Why Chris and not any of Heidi's former victims?

Anyhoo...Chris takes over in designing for Jack's model and gets to pull an all-nighter to make up for lost time. Did it help? See for yourself.

Victorya's model had a long ugly green tent, which she chopped up into a short ugly green dress. I really don't like the non-velvet fabric on the bodice. Was it the lining from the original dress? It makes the dress look inside-out.

Elisa: Michael Kors had issues with the way the outfit chopped her body into so many horizontal chunks, and I think I would have screamed had I been forced to wear it. It's the jacket that is truly horrible - it's too long and makes her look even dumpier than the dress alone. Cropping the jacket wouldn't have helped though, and the boots were also a mistake as they break up the line of the leg. It reminds me of a dress I might have made for my Barbies, using chopped up socks and one of Ken's shirts. Amateurish and quite a disappointment from the formerly surprising-in-a-good way Elisa.

Chris: You came back for THIS? A French hooker, according to Ms. Kors. I didn't get that impression when I first saw it because I was too disturbed by the blouse part. I don't understand that kind of seaming - do the boobs fit within the curved part? or is it purely decorative and meant to divide the girls into horizontal wedges? I've never seen a woman wear a shirt like this so it looks right - either they hang out the top or flop below the curved seam. And it seemed a bit big on the model when she came down the runway. The red is too much, but the skirt didn't really bother me.

Sweet P once again got picked last and ended up having to work with an Army tent. She managed to transform it into a sweet little dress, despite the tragic color.

Ricky gave us tears again this week, as he was overwhelmed by how "awesome" his model looked. Cute, yes. I like the top, and I think I own those stretch denim capris....

Rami: I loved this outfit! It was well-fitted, chic, really wearable, and flattering to his model.

Kit: A super cute dress, although the color makes me cringe a bit. I once knitted a very elaborate wrap cardigan with bell sleeves in exactly this shade of fluorescent peach, and I can't bring myself to wear it in public.

Kevin: His model really felt great in this outfit, and you could see it on the runway. I think a pencil skirt would have been chicer than leggings, however.

Jillian: Red hot mama! Cute dress, very Jillian, but I think I would like to see a wider swath of black, rather than just piping. I'm surprised she didn't get in more trouble by using new fabric rather than the original garment. I am sure if this hadn't turned out so well, she would have been disemboweled by the Terrible Two, Kors and Ninagarcia.

Steven: The judges really ganged up on this one and finally pronounced it "French maid at a funeral." Was it the feather duster? Steven found out too late that accessories should come from the Bluefly display rather than the janitor's cart. That proved to be his undoing and it was time for Heidi to bestow the double-cheek air kiss of death.

Granted, he had a beaded polyester wedding gown to use as his raw material, but he really didn't even try to utilize the dress in any way, apart from the cuffs and collar. If you're going to go that route, you have to do something fabulous, a la Laura Bennett, with a huge portrait collar (and a diamond brooch on the belt). Or follow Jillian's lead and create a well-made, flattering outfit.

Christian: There's no mistaking this for anything but a Christian design. He likes jackets, odd necklines, and fussy stuff on the front. It was really cute, however, and his model looked fantastic in the end result. And it was good enough to give him the win which included immunity for the next challenge.


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